(Text 1)    Whatever Happened to Manners?

Linda Dano

 1. Do you remember a time when people were a little nicer, a little softer, a little gentler with each other? I certainly do, and I feel that much of the world has somehow gotten away from that. I see such a difference in New York City, for example, from when I first moved here more than 20 years ago: people rushing into elevators without giving those inside a chance to get off first, never saying “Thank you” when others hold a door open for them, or “Please” when they want a coworker to hand them something, never giving a wave or nod of appreciation when another motorist lets them pull out into traffic.

2.  We get lazy, and in our laziness we think that something like a simple “Thank you”doesn’t really matter. But it can matter very much. The fact is that no matter how nicely we dress, how beautifully we decorate our homes, or how lovely our dinner parties are, we can’t be truly stylish without good manners.

3.  Infact, I think of good manners as a sort of hidden beauty secret. Haven’t you noticed that the kindest, most generous people seem to keep getting prettier?T hey become Cary Grant or Lauren Bacall right before our eyes. It’s funny how that happens, but it does.

4.  Take the long-lost art of saying “Thank you.” Like wearing a little lipstick or making sure your hair is neat, getting into the habit of saying “Thank you” can make you feel better about yourself, and then you look better to everyone around you. A gracious manner not only sets an excellent example for your children and grandchildren but it adds priceless panache to your image.

 Positive Thanking

5.  Of course, saying “Thank you”does wonders for the person on the receiving end too. I recently got a thank-you note from aguest who attended a 40th birthday party that Frank and I hosted for Frank’s daughter-in-law. The note was lovely enough, but evenlovelier was the fact that the guest had also included a recipe for a dish I’d complimented her on at a nearlier gathering. It was a sweet gesture that made me feel terrific and put mein a great mood. What a gift!

6.  Many of us know we should write thank-you notes, but we think we don’t have the time or energy. Now, I know we all have busy lives, but I bet the note my guest sent me didn’t take long to write. If you feel like a feel because you’ve put off sending a card, write a note that says, “I should have done this two weeks ago, but I didn’t want to let another day go by without telling you how much I enjoyed your party.” It’s much better than not writing at all.

  Magic Words

7.  Just as powerful as a thank-you note is the simple phrase “Excuse me.” Don’t you just hate it when someone knocks an enormous carry-on bag into your head when he’s barreling down the aisle to board an airplane — and then doesn’t bother to say he’s sorry? But when someone does stop and turn around and genuinely apologizes, doesn’t it melt away most — if not all — of the irritation you felt?

8.  Same for holding the door open for others when you see their hands are full. I’ll even do this for a hotel bellman carrying my luggage. Just because his job is to carry my bags doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate a little gesture that makes his life a wee bit easier. And punctuality is not a thing of the past, either. Being on time for lunch dates, for example, shows the person we’re meeting that we value his or her precious time as much as we do our own.

    Bringing Manners Home

9.  And for heaven’s sake, we shouldn’t forget to use good manners with our own families. That’s where it counts the most because those are the people we love the most. How lovely it would be to put a card on your spouse’s pillow at night to say “Thank you” for some dear thing he or she did for you or even just to say “I love you.”

10. Similarly, bringing home the most insignificant little presents for people you cherish will go a long way. It shows they’re in your thoughts and you want to make them happy. If you’re a husband, how long has it been since you walked in the door with a rose for your wife? Or maybe her favorite candy — even if it’s just a Snickers bar. You’d sure get my attention if you brought me a Snickers! I firmly believe spouses should be gracious about the routine things they expecte ach other to do. Show that you don’t take the other person for granted. He or she is much more likely to treat you the same way.

11.  Good manners are infectious. Now, if we could just get everyone to catch them!

             

  

 

Detailed Analysis of Paragraphs 1

  

Questions

      

1. Which sentences in the first paragraph imply that in a general sense, people now are less gentle, less friendly or less polite than people in the past?

The first two sentences of the first paragraph.

 

2. What examples does the writer give to show that many people in New York City are not friendly or polite with one another?

The writer employs the following examples to illustrate the bad manners of people in New York City: People rush into elevators without giving those inside a chance to get off first; they never say “Thank you” when others hold a door open for them, or “Please” when they want a coworker to hand them something; they never give a wave or nod of appreciation when another motorist lets them pull out into traffic.

 

 

Words and Expressions

 

1. appreciate: vt.

 

1) to recognize with gratitude; be grateful for

e.g. We appreciate your helping us. 

 

2) to recognize or understand that something is valuable, important or as described

e.g. There's no point buying him expensive wines —he doesn't appreciate them.

 

Derivations:  appreciation: n.      appreciative: adj.

 Synonyms: enjoy, understand

 Comparison: appreciate, enjoy

appreciate: It means “to be thankful or gratefulfor something,” as well as “to like or value something for its good qualities.”

e.g.We really appreciate all the help you gave us last weekend.

enjoy: It stresses taking pleasure in a situation one is in, esp. to find satisfaction in doing something, and often appears in the structure of “ enjoy oneself”.

e.g. Now that I am free, I can enjoy music for a while.   既然有空，我可以享受一下音乐。

  

2. pull out

1) (of a motor vehicle, boat, etc.) to move out of a sideways

e.g. A car suddenly pulled out in front of me.  一辆汽车突然横冲到我面前。

 

2) to leave or depart

e.g. When I arrived, the train was pulling out of the station.

 

 

Activity: Making a Dialogue

Directions: Make a dialogue with your partner. You are supposed to use the following words and phrases as many as possible.

appreciate, appreciation, get away, somehow, pull out

 

Paraphrasing

 

Do you remember a time when people were a little nicer, a little softer, a little gentler with each other? (Paragraph 1)

Paraphrase: Years ago, people were kind and generous with each other, but now people are less gentle, less friendly or less polite than people in the past.

    

 

Detailed Analysis of Paragraphs 2-4

 

Questions

 

1. According to the writer, how do good manners build up your image? (Paragraph 4)

No matter what you wear, good manners make you feel better and look better, which can set good examples for your children and grandchildren.

 

2. How do you understand the sentence “we can’t be truly stylish without good manners”? (Paragraph2)

     If we do not show good manners, we cannot be really stylish even though we wear the most stylish clothes, or decorate our homes most stylishly.

 

  

Words and Expressions

 

3. gracious: adj.

1) behaving in a pleasant, polite, calm way

e.g. The losing team were gracious in defeat.

       He was most gracious to everyone, smiling and thanking them.

2) characterized by kindness and warm courtesy especially of a king to his subjects

e.g. The queen was gracious enough toinvite us.  女王亲切地邀请了我们。

      He is graciousto his inferiors.   他待下级和蔼可亲。

 

Synonyms: courteous, nice

  

4. priceless: adj. describing an object which has such a high value, especially because it is rare, that the price of it cannot be calculated

e.g. In its spacious halls are displayed over 8,000 priceless relics.

 在它宽敞的大厅里，展出了8000多件珍贵文物。

 Her onepriceless asset is her unflappability.

 她有一点是非常难能可贵的，就是她遇事冷静。

Synonym: precious

 

Comparison: priceless, precious

priceless: refering to something that is worth alot of money or can not be calculated in monetary terms

precious: emphasizing the fact that something is valuable, rare and important, and should not be wasted, lost or used badly

e.g. Pandas are precious creatures. 熊猫是珍贵的动物。

 You should makegood use of every precious minuteto study.

 你应很好利用宝贵的每一分钟去学习。

       Her knowledge and experience would make her a priceless (= extremely useful) asset to the team.     她的知识和经历对于整个团队来说是无价之宝。

  

5. panache: n. a stylish, original and very confident way of doing things that makes people admire you

e.g. The orchestra played with great panache.    交响乐团的演奏十分优雅动听。

Synonyms: dash, style, elegance

 

 

Activity: Sentence Making

  Direction：Youa re supposed to make sentences by using the following words as many as possible.

     gracious, priceless, panache, precious

 

                                 Paraphrasing and Translation

1. ...we can’t be truly stylish without good manners …(Paragraph2)

Paraphrase: If we do not have polite ways of treating other people and behaving in pubic, we can’t be truly fashionable and attractive.

Translation: 没有良好的习惯，我们不可能真正成为时尚的人。

 

2. …I think of good manners as a sort of hidden beauty secret.(Paragraph3)

Paraphrase: I think of good manners as a sort of hidden beauty secret whose nature can’t be understood and explained.

Question: What will good manners lead us to be?

                  Good manners will lead us to be beautiful and attractive figures. 

 

3.… but it adds priceless panache to your image … (Paragraph4)

Paraphrase: but a kind, gracious manner makes you look much more stylish, charming and admirable, contributing invaluably to your image.

 

 

Detailed Analysis of Paragraphs 5-10

 

Questions 

1. What good manners does the writer suggest that we should display?

    We should say "Thank you" when weare invited or helped, say "Excuse me" when we apologize,be punctual and bring good manners home.

 

2. Do you agree with the writer that good manners with our families count the most? Justify your reply. (Paragraph 9)

    I couldn’t agree more. Because family members are the people we love most. It's natural for us to show affectionate concern for them and make them feel nice and comfortable. So good manners matter the most among family members.

 

  

Words and Expressions

 

6. wonders: n. objects that cause a feeling of great surprise and admiration

Collocation:

do wonders for: If you say that a person or thing does wonders, you mean that they have a very good effect on something.

e.g. Regular physical exercises will do wonders for your health.

 

Synonyms: miracle, marvel, phenomenon

Derivation:  wonderful  adj.

  

7. compliment vt. to praise or express admiration for someone

Collocation:  compliment sb. on sth.

e.g. I must compliment you on your handling of a very difficult situation.

 

Synonym: praise, applaud, flatter 

Derivations:  complimentary: adj. praising or expressing admiration for someone

                       compliment: n.

 

Comparison: compliment, complement

compliment: praise somebody for something

complement: make something else seem better or more attractive when combining with it

Translation:

1) 他连看都没看一眼，就称赞了她的新衣服。

     He complimented her onher new dress without even looking at it.

 

2) This wine complements the food perfectly.  用这种酒配这种菜肴最妙不过了。

  

8. mood: n.  the way you feel at a particular time

e.g. His mood suddenly changed and he became calm.   他的情绪突然一变，冷静了下来。

       The public mood changed dramatically after the bombing.

       爆炸案发生后，公众的气氛急剧转变。

       I'm not in the mood to disagree with you.   我没有心思跟你争论。

       He's always in a bad mood (i.e. irritable and angry) on Mondays.   他每个星期一情心情都很差。

 

Collocations:

1) be in no mood for sth./to do sth.: to not want to do something with someone else, often because you are angryw ith them

    e.g. I was in no mood for chatting.

                He's in no mood for (telling) jokes/to tell jokes.  他没心情说笑话。

2) be in the mood: to feel like doing or having something

    e.g. I'm not really in the mood for shopping.

  

9. put off: to hold back to a later time

e.g. She keeps putting off going to the dentist.   她老是拖延着不去看牙病。

       Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done today.  今日事今日做。

 Synonyms:  postpone, delay, prolong

10. barrel: vi. (inf.) to travel somewhere very quickly

e.g. We were barreling along the free wayat 180 kph.

  

11. irritation: n. when someone is made angry or annoyed, the person tends to develop irritation or feel annoyed by asource of irritation or annoyance

e.g. The traffic noise is a constant irritationto city dwellers.

       车辆的噪音对城市居民是永无止境的骚扰。

 Derivations:   irritate vt.      irritable adj.        irritating adj.

  

12. punctuality n. the quality or habit of being on time

e.g. Our boss urged on us the significance of punctuality.  老板向我们强调守时的重要性。

 Derivation:  punctual adj.

  

13. count

1) vt. to say the names of numbers one after the other in order, or to calculate the number of people or things in a group

 e.g. Count your money carefully to make sure it's all there.

 

2) vi. to have value or importance; to matter

e.g. I've always believed that happiness counts more than money.

  My opinion doesn't count for anything around here (= no one values my opinion).

 

Collocations: 

count sb. in: to include someone in an activity or arrangement

e.g. "Do you want to come swimming tomorrow?" "Yes, count me in."

 

count on sb.: to be confident that you can depend on someone

e.g. I can count on my parents to help me.

 

Derivation:  countable adj.

  

14. cherish

1) vt. to love, protect and care for someone or something that is important to you

e.g. One of our cherished privileges is the right offree speech.

       我们所珍视的权利之一是言论自由。

       Although I cherish my children, I do allow them their independence.

 

2) vt. to keep hopes, memories or ideas inyour mind because they are important to you and bring you pleasure

e.g. I cherish the memories of the time we spent together.

      我们在一起的时光珍藏在我的记忆当中。

 Synonyms:  care for, treasure, value

 

15. routine:

1) adj. ordinary and not special or unusual

e.g. It was a rather routine performance.  那是很一般的演出。

 

2) n. a usual or fixed way of doing things

e.g. They did it as a matter of routine. 他们那样做只是例行公事。

  

16. take … for granted:

1) take sth. for granted: to believe something to be true without even thinking about it

e.g. I didn't realize that Melanie hadn't been to college—I suppose I just took it for granted.

 

2) take sth. or sb. for granted: if you take situations or people for granted, you do not realize or show that you are grateful for how much you get from them

e.g.  I take for granted that you have read this book.

    We must not takeour parents’ care for granted.  

    我们不能认为父母的关心是理所当然的。

Synonyms:  assume, presume

 

Activity: Role Play

Direction：The class is supposed to be divided into groups. The members in each group are to play arole in a TV interview in which the subject of “generation gap between parents and their children” is discussed. The students are required to use as many words and phrases in Para.5—10 as possible.

 

                                    Paraphrasing and Translation

1. Of course, saying “Thank you.” does wonders for the person on the receiving end too.(Paragraph 5)

Paraphrase: Without doubt, saying “Thank you.” will bring benefit to the person who receives the thank-you remark.

Explanation: “Do wonders for” means achieving positive results for somebody or something.

It does wonders for your self-confidence. Believe me.

  

2. I bet the note my guest sent me didn’t take long to write. (Paragraph6)

Paraphrase: I am sure that to finishwriting a thank-you note will not take my guest too much time.

Translation: 我敢打赌，客人给我写的信不需要太多时间就可以写完。

  

3. If you feel like a feel… (Paragraph6)

Paraphrase: If you’d like to know how you would feel when you do write a thank-you note…

Explanation: "Feel like" means havinga wish or inclination for something.

    I feel like a cup of tea.

   On a hot day wefeel likea cold beer.

  

4. And for heaven’s sake, we shouldn’t forget to use good manners with our own families.(Paragraph9)

Explanation: The phrase "for goodness’/Pete’s/heaven’s/pity’s sake"can be used when one asks strongly for something.

  Never do that again, for heaven's sake!

  For heaven’s sake don’t let her know what I told you!

  However,the phrase "for God’s/Christ’s sake"might be considered offensive or taboo by some people, and should be used withcare.

  For Christ’s sake, turn that music down!

Translation: 看在上帝的份上，把那音乐关轻点。

  

5. You’d sure get my attention. (Paragraph10)

Explanation: In American English, "surely"is often shortened to "sure".

  I sure don’t wantto be around when Gene finds out what has happened to his car.

  

 

Detailed Analysis of Paragraph 11

Questions:

1. Do you believe that good manners are infectious? Exemplify your answer.

    (This is an open question.) Yes, I do. For example, parents' good manners set an example for their children. As an English saying goes, “Like father, like son.”

 

2. Is it possible for everyone to show good manners?

    Of course, it is. But it takestime and calls for much education. / No, it is impossible, because therewill always be some people who can never learn good manners well.

 

 

Words and Expressions

17. infectious: adj.

1) able to passa disease from one person, animal or plant to another

e.g. Flu is an infectious disease characterized by fever, aches and pains and exhaustion.

      流感是一种传染病，其特征是发热、全身疼痛和疲乏无力。

 

2) describing something that has an effect on everyone who is present and makes them want to join in

e.g. He expressed infectious enthusiasm to his voters.  他对他的选民表现出的热情很有感染力。

 

Derivations:  infect vt.    infection n.

Synonym:  contagious

 

 

Activity: Sentence Making

Direction:You are supposed to make sentences with the following words:

   infect, infection, infectious

 

 

Paraphrasing

1. Good manners are infectious. (Paragraph 11)

Paraphrase: Good manners are easy to catch.