Reading Material 3　Verbal Communication (VC)

The basis of communication is the interaction between people.Verbal communication is one way for people to communicate face-to-face.Some of the key components of verbal communication are sound，words，speaking，and language.

At birth，most people have vocal cords，which produce sounds.As a child grows it learns how to form these sounds into words.Some words may be imitative of natural sounds，but others may come from expressions of emotion，such as laughter or crying.Words alone have no meaning.Only people can put meaning into words.As meaning is assigned to words，language develops，which leads to the development of speaking.

The actual origin of language is subject to considerable speculation.Some theorists believe it is an outgrowth of group activities such as working together or dancing.Others believe that language developed from basic sounds and gestures.

Over 3，000 languages and major dialects are spoken in the world today.The development of languages reflects class，gender，profession，age group，and other social factors.The huge variety of languages usually creates difficulties between different languages，but even within a single language there can be many problems in understanding.

Through speaking we try to eliminate this misunderstanding，but sometimes this is a very hard thing to do.Just as we assume that our messages are clearly received，so we assume that because something is important to us，it is important to others.As time has proven this is not at all true.Many problems can arise in speaking and the only way to solve these problems is through experience.

Speaking can be looked at in two major areas:interpersonal and public speaking.Since the majority of speaking is an interpersonal process，to communicate effectively we must not simply clean up our language，but learn to relate to people.

In interpersonal speaking，etiquette is very important.To be an effective communicator one must speak in a manner that is not offending to the receiver.Etiquette also plays an important role in an area that has developed in most all business settings:hierarchical communication.In business today，hierarchical communication is of utmost importance to all members involved.

The other major area of speaking is public speaking.From the origin of time，it has been obvious that some people are just better public speakers than others.Because of this，today a good speaker can earn a living by speaking to people in a public setting.Some of the major areas of public speaking are speaking to persuade，speaking to inform，and speaking to inspire or motivate.

And the way to overcome the barriers of communication is through active listening and feedback.

Active Listening

Hearing and listening are not the same thing.Hearing is the act of perceiving sound.It is involuntary and simply refers to the reception of aural stimuli.Listening is a selective activity which involves the reception and the interpretation of aural stimuli.It involves decoding the sound into meaning.

Listening is divided into two main categories:passive and active.Passive listening is little more that hearing.It occurs when the receiver of the message has little motivation to listen carefully，such as when listening to music，story telling，television，or when being polite.

People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute (WPM)，but they can listen intelligently at 600 to 800 WPM.Since only a part of our mind is paying attention，it is easy to go into mind drift—thinking about other things while listening to someone.The cure for this is active listening—which involves listening with a purpose.It may be to gain information，obtain directions，understand others，solve problems，share interest，see how another person feels，show support，etc.It requires that the listener attends to the words and the feelings of the sender for understanding.It takes the same amount or more energy than speaking.It requires the receiver to hear the various messages，understand the meaning，and then verify the meaning by offering feedback.The following are a few traits of active listeners:

Spend more time listening than talking.

Do not finish the sentences of others.

Do not answer questions with questions.

Be aware of biases.We all have them.We need to control them.

Never daydreams or become preoccupied with their own thoughts when others talk.

Let the other speakers talk.Do not dominate the conversations.

Plan responses after the others have finished speaking，NOT while they are speaking.

Provide feedback，but do not interrupt incessantly.

Analyze by looking at all the relevant factors and asking open-ended questions.Walk others through by summarizing.

Keep conversations on what others say，NOT on what interests them.

Take brief notes.This forces them to concentrate on what is being said.

Feedback

When you know something，say what you know.When you don't know something，say that you don't know.That is knowledge.—Kung Fu Tzu (Confucius)

The purpose of feedback is to alter messages so the intention of the original communicator is understood by the second communicator.It includes verbal and nonverbal responses to another person's message.

Providing feedback is accomplished by paraphrasing the words of the sender.Restate the sender's feelings or ideas in your own words，rather than repeating their words.Your words should be saying ，“This is what I understand your feelings to be，am I correct?”It not only includes verbal responses，but also nonverbal ones.Nodding your head or squeezing their hand to show agreement，dipping your eyebrows shows you don't quite understand the meaning of their last phrase，or sucking air in deeply and blowing it hard shows that you are also exasperated with the situation.

Carl Rogers listed five main categories of feedback.They are listed in the order in which they occur most frequently in daily conversations.Notice that we make judgments more often than we try to understand.

Evaluative:Making a judgment about the worth，goodness，or appropriateness of the other person's statement.

Interpretive:Paraphrasing—attempting to explain what the other person's statement means.

Supportive:Attempting to assist or bolster the other communicator.

Probing:Attempting to gain additional information，continue the discussion，or clarify a point.

Understanding:Attempting to discover completely what the other communicator means by her statements.

Imagine how much better daily communications would be if listeners tried to understand first，before they tried to evaluate what someone is saying.