16. English-A Crazy Language

English is the most widely used language in the history of our 1) planet. One in every seven human beings can speak it. More than half of the world’s books and three 2) quarters of international mail are in English. Of all languages, English has the largest vocabulary---perhaps as two million words-and one of the noblest bodies of literature.

Nonetheless, let’s face it. English is a 3) crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, neither pine or apple in pineapple and no ham in a hamburger. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.Sweetmeats are candy, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

Sometimes I 4) wonder if all English speakers should be sent to a madhouse. In what other language do people drive on a parkway and park in a 5) driveway? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a 6) slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise guy and a wise man are opposites? How can overlook and oversee are 7) opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next?

You have to marvel at the glorious messiness of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, 8) in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and 9) it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, isn’t a race at all. That is why when stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. 10) And why, when I wind up my watch I start it, but when I wind up this speech I end it.

Notes:

Muffin: small, flat, sweet bread roll that you eat hot with butter （松饼）

Marvel: give an expression of a great surprise, wonder, or admiration（对…..感到惊讶）