1.5.3 Ⅲ.有效英语句子
Ⅲ.有效英语句子

写作是写作者通过一定的语法规则,把词语组成句子,并有机地把这些句子组成语篇,从而达到表达思想进行交流的目的。英语的有效句子应包括五个要素:完整性(completeness)、强调性(emphasis)、连贯性(coherence )、简洁性(conciseness)、多样性(variety)。它们是写好句子,准确传递作者思想所必备的。中国学生在写作时常常忽视这几个要素,造成其错误的句子形式,严重影响其思想内容的表达。

1.完整性

英语是形合语言,注重句子结构的完整性(即一个句子必须有主语、谓语和其他必要的辅助成分,应避免句子残缺不全)。英语造句注重显性接应(explicit cohesion ),句中词语或分句之间要用形式手段连接起来,以表达语法意义和逻辑关系。而汉语是意合语言,词语或分句之间不一定全部都要用语言形式手段连接。正如中国著名语言学家王力先生曾经指出的:“西洋语法是硬的,没有弹性的;中国语法是软的,富于弹性的。因为是硬的,所以西洋语法有许多呆板的要求,如每一个clause里都必须有一个主语;因为是软的,所以中国语法只以达意为主,相关的两件事可以硬凑起来,不用任何的connective words 。”(王力,1984:141)也就是说,汉语只要在上下文中能达意,就可以省去一个句子成分或几个句子成分。而英语中,句子的完整性对意义的表达很重要,因此很少省略。受汉语思维的影响,学生往往忽略这一区别,从而造出句子成分残缺不全的片断句(fragment),即缺乏主语或谓语或者主语谓语同时缺失。如:

(1) Born in Sichuan Province, he later became a famous writer.

(2) Du Fu was one of the greatest poets.

(3) Wondering what his son was going to do.

以上这三个句子,结构都是完整的,但是句子意思表达不完整,让人无法理解,因此可修改为:

(1) He was born in a small town in South China in the early 50s. In his childhood he liked to sing songs. Later he entered a conservatory. In the 70s, he became a famous musician.

(2) Du Fu was one of the greatest poets of the Tang period.

(3) Mr. Smith had been wondering what his son was going to do.

相比而言,修改之后的句子无论从结构上,还是从意思上都比原句完整。因此,句子的完整性是一个有效句子的特点之一,它不仅仅体现在结构上,还体现在意思上。

2.连贯性

保证句子的统一性和连贯性是组词造句的基本要求。句子的统一性和连贯性是相辅相成的,最简单的解释是,意思完整、主次分明、前后连贯。从语义上看,句子各部分应该是紧密联系在一起,表达一个完整的意思;从语法角度来看,正确的句子应该是结构严谨、关系一致、语序正确;从修辞角度来看,好的句子应该是中心突出、逻辑性强、准确简练。如果一个句子表达的意思不完整、主次关系不明确、逻辑关系混乱,那么这个句子的统一性和连贯性就遭到了破坏,句子就有语病,读者也就无法了解作者的本意。因此,我们在写作当中,为了使句子连贯,必须注意以下情况:

1)无悬垂分词

(1) Walking or sleeping, this subject was always in my mind.

(2) After studying Lesson Ten, the mid-term test was given to us.

以上两个句子中,都出现了我们在语法上遇到的悬垂分词,walking or sleeping,和studying,它们与所要修饰的名词或代词没有结构上的联系。用了“悬垂”修饰语,这种句子就缺少连贯性,也就让人难以理解。改正这类句子,一是使句子的主语和修饰语的逻辑主语一致,二是把修饰语短语改为从句,三是把所有的部分合并成一句话,取消从句和分离式修饰语。因此,这两个句子可修改为:

(1) Walking or sleeping, I was always considering the subject.

(2) After studying Lesson Ten, we had the mid-term test.

2)人称和数要一致

(1) Those who want to join the chorus should sign your name on this sheet of paper.

(2) Mrs. Green said to her sister that she had done the right thing.

以上这两个句子中,第一个句子中those和your搭配不一致,因此,需要将your改为their。

而第二个句子中的代词she指代不明,为了使句子意思表达更清楚,我们可以对这个句子进行如下修改:

(1) Mrs. Green said to her sister, “You have done the right thing. ”

(2) Mrs. Green said to her sister, “I have done the right thing. ”

3)时态、语态、语气要一致

The explosion destroyed the building and a number of people were injured.

这个句子,虽然句子结构和意思都完整,句子时态和语态的选择也没有问题,但该句子却不是我们写作中的有效句子,因为句子前后语态不一致,需要进行如下修改:

(1) The explosion destroyed the building and injured a number of people.

(2) In the explosion, the building was destroyed and a number of people were injured.

4)句子结构要平行

所谓平行结构(parallelism),就是把一个句子逻辑上应属于同一句法成分的并列事物用相同的结构来表达。平行结构的使用是一种修辞手法,它不仅能使文章节奏匀称,而且能起篇章纽带作用,这种修辞手段运用得好,能使语句表意明确,层次清楚,产生一种和谐的感觉。平行结构的使用既是一种语法手段,也是一种词汇手段,既有词汇平行(word with word),也有短语平行(phrase with phrase)和从句平行(clause with clause),同时平行结构可以表达句子的各种成分。在英语写作中,为了使句子表意明确,层次清楚,我们需要在连词前后使用相同的结构,即词对词,短语对短语,句子对句子。如:

It is generally believed that one's action is more important than what one says.

从句子结构上看,我们发现该句中连词than前后表达不一致,结构不平行,因此,需要进行如下修改:

It is generally believed that one's action is more important than one's words.

再如:

The young man is honest and hardworking, and is a very reliable worker.

该句中,连词and前后表达不一致,前面是形容词短语honest and hardworking,而后面却是名词短语a very reliable worker,因此,可改为:The young man is honest, hardworking and reliable.

3.简洁性

人们在使用语言进行交际的过程中,尽量使用字母比较少的、省力的语言单位,从而以比较少的力量消耗来传达比较大量的信息。我们在写文章时,如果思想上不重视“意则期多,字唯求少”的原则,忽略了“句中无余字,篇外无长语”的要求,没有注意字词句的精简问题,就可能出现文字累赘、词语堆砌、前后重复的毛病。要避免句子中无谓的重复,意思相同的词或在语义重复的结构,都是不必要的重复。所以,若不是修辞的需要,我们坚决要删除重复的词句。如:

(1) It was blue in color.

(2) It was small in size.

(3) Mary is a quiet and careful woman.

(4) He returned in the early part of the month of August.

以上各句,在结构表达上都不同程度地出现了赘述的问题,因此,可改为:

(1) It was blue.

(2) It was small.

(3) Mary is quiet and careful.

(4) He returned in early August.

再看下面这段文字:

Emily Dickinson was a famous woman poet of the United States. Her father was a lawyer. Emily was educated at an academy, and after she left the academy, she entered a female seminary. She studied there for a year. Her life was quiet and peaceful, for she lived a quiet life at home. Besides, she was never married and remained single all her life. She had very few friends.But the few friends whom she had were well-educated intellectuals.She enjoyed writing poems, but she wrote poems in secret. She died when she was 56 years old. Before she died, no one knew she had written over 1000 brilliant short poems.

整段文字句子冗长,啰唆,使读者感到厌烦,所以我们不妨作如下修改:

Emily Dickinson, the famous American poetess, was a lawyer's daughter. She was educated first at an academy and then for one year at a female seminary. Her life was quiet and peaceful,for she lived at home all the time and was never married. She had a few well-educated friends, but they did not know she enjoyed writing poems, for she wrote them in secret. She died at 56. Only after her death, it was known that she had written over 1000 brilliant short poems.

以上例子说明有时从句可以压缩为短语,短语可以压缩为单词而不改变原来的意思,也说明两个句子有时可以合并,把表达次要意思的句子改为分词短语、定语从句或别的形式。

4.强调性

句子的强调性指的是把重要的信息放在句子的重要位置上,以凸显其作用。在一个句子里,可能有好几个信息,有结论性的、观点性的、叙述性的、背景性的等。它们应当如何安排,哪一个放在开头,哪一个放在结尾,用什么语法成分处理,用主句、从句或短语这就牵涉到不同民族的不同思维习惯和表达方式。汉民族和英民族的思维走向是不同的,汉语是自然语序,即人的思维和句子语序自然合拍。句子的语序基本上反映了思想的过程:即按时间先后排序,先发生的先说,后发生的后说,有条不紊地按顺序先把外围的环境与衬托,如条件、事实、道理一一交代周到,最后点出话语的信息中心,下结论,表态度,呈现的是一个流水形的图式,表现的是一种由远及近的思维方式。而英语则由近及远,先拉开序幕而后按时间逆推,回忆式地一一补叙,在句型上以主谓结构为主干,以谓语的动词为中心,控制句中各成分之间的联系,使用介词、关系代词、连词等把各成分层层搭架,形成一个以主谓结构为中心的无限向外散射的图式。也就是说,说话人在说话前先把要表达的信息组织一下,想要强调什么,就先说出,即把最重要的事如态度、观点、结论放在句首先说出,开门见山,一语道破;然后再把理由、事实、条件、原因、例证等一步步交代,一条条补述,形成一条头短尾长的线性链。这种句型好比头小尾大的孔雀。在英语口语中,说话者可以通过重读某些音节或者运用强势语调来达到强调的目的,在书面语言中则可用以下不同的强调方式。

1)整句强调

文章中有的句子可能比别的句子更重要,因为它表达了更为重要的意思。下面是一些强调整句的方法:

A.短句或不完整句

短句一般语气重,可陈述重要的事实和想法;长句因为含有很多修饰语,适宜于准确表达复杂的思想,可解释观点和理论或描写有很多细节的事物。在一段的开头、结尾或在长句之中,短句比长句更为有力。不完整句也叫单一成分句,因为只有少数几个词表达主要意思而起到强调的作用。如:

The sky was overcast. A north wind was blowing. It threatened to rain at any moment. A gloomy day.

B.倒装句

倒装句以它不同寻常的语序会吸引读者的注意。如:

In rushed the noisy children.

The poet was born poor, and poor he remained all his life.

C.反问句

反问句在形式上是问句,意思上却是强调的陈述。如:

Didn't I tell you that you mustn't touch this machine?

I didn't get a ticket for the opera. How could I?

You call that a good play? What is good about it?

Can anyone believe his explanation?

D.否定肯定陈述句

这种句子先指出不是什么,然后指出是什么,对比使之得到强调。如:

The delegates shouted and quarreled. It was not a meeting; it was a farce.

There were so many errors in the performance that the result was not a tragedy, but a comedy.

E.词或短语重复的句子

重复可以通过加强语气从而达到强调的目的。如:

Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.

除此之外,平行句,祈使句及感叹句等也可以起到强调的作用。

2)句内强调

句中的某个词语或短语有时应该得到强调,因为那是全句主要意思之所在。可以有多种方法做到这一点。

A.位置

一句的开头和结尾,尤其是结尾,最能引起读者的注意。重要的词,如可能,应放在这两个位置。试比较以下三个句型:

(1) Spain is more interesting than France in many ways, some foreign tourists say.

(2) Some foreign tourists say that Spain is more interesting than France in many ways.

(3) Spain, some foreign tourists say, is in many ways more interesting than France.

在这个句子中,“ some foreign tourists say”和“in many ways”不是该句子主要的信息,因此不应该放在句首和句尾的位置上,相比较而言,第三个句子很好的强调了该句的主要成分,抓住了读者的注意力。

B.重复

在一定的上下文中,用不同或相同的方式重复一个词或词组同样可以达到强调的目的。如:

Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand ... Simplify,simplify. Instead of three meals a day, if it be necessary, eat but one; instead of a hundred dishes, five; and reduce other things in proportion.

C.顺序

在一个句子中,我们可以根据信息的重要性按顺序安排内容,将主要的信息点放在最后表达,以达到强调的目的。

试比较以下三组句型:

(1) A biologist once said the ant is a symbol of wisdom,industry and efficiency.

A biologist once said the ant is a symbol of industry, efficiency and wisdom.

(2)This tourist group visited the Great Wall, the Summer Palace,the Museum Palace, and the Zoo while they were in Beijing.

This tourist group, while in Beijing, visited the Zoo, the Summer Palace, the Museum Palace, and the Great Wall.

(3) He said he had lost interest in life, fame, position and money after that tragedy.

He said after that tragedy he had lost interest in money,position, fame, and even life.

相比而言,在这三组句型中,第二个相对来说更具强调意味,更能表达句子的主要内容。

D.动词

在描写动作时,用动词比用表示动作的名词要好些,因为动词比名词更为生动有力。

试比较以下两个句子:

(1)At the sight of the disorderly crowed, he was aware that something bad would be possible.

(2)The moment he saw the disorderly crowed, he knew that something bad would happen.

通过比较我们可以看出第二句中的三个动词(saw, knew,happen)给人一种紧急的感觉,而第一句则缺少这种气氛。

E.主动语态

主动语态相对被动语态更自然,更具强调性,但如果要强调动作的受试者而不是动作施动者时,则倾向于被动语态。

试比较以下两个句子

(1) The whole family watched television in the evenings.

(2) All the old buildings in this block have been pulled down and new houses will be built next year.

相比而言,第一句强调的是全家人在看电视,而第二句强调的是旧楼已经被推倒,新楼明年建起,至于是谁推了,是谁会建不是本句强调的内容。

F.从属

所谓从属,就是把次要的意思放在句子从属的成分里,从而突出主要意思。如:

(1) The professor walked into the classroom and he carried a bag of books with him.

(2) The professor walked into the classroom, carrying a bag of books with him.

(3) The professor walked into the classroom with a bag of books under his arm.

(4) The professor walked into the classroom, a bag of books under his arm.

通过比较,我们发现该句有两个信息点,一是教授走进教室,二是拿着或胳膊底下夹着一袋书,第一个句子的并列结构表示这两个意思同等重要,而事实上前一个应该是主要意思,后一个则应该是从属,所以我们可以将次要的意思放在从属的成分里,从而突出主要的意思。

G.强调词或词组

在一些句子中,我们可以通过一些具有强调意味的词或词组来强调句中的某些成分。如:

(1) This is the very dictionary I have been looking for.

(2) The director himself told me this news.

(3) Do tell us about your recent Antarctic expedition.

(4) His latest novel is by far the best he has ever written.

(5) This theatre is far better than the one we went to last time.

(6) I'm so hungry that I'll eat whatever food I can find.

(7) What on earth are the children doing in the next room?

(8) I don't like the play at all.

(9) Many peasants have motorcycles, not to mention ( let alone) TV sets and recorders.

5.多样性

在任何一个作品中,句式的变化是使语言产生活力,使思想表达产生效应的关键。一篇完整的作文应考虑到句式的变化以及长短句的交替错落。语句应有长有短,句式结构也应根据思想表达的需要而不断变化。短句的特点是节奏明快,力量感强。长句信息量大,适用于从容细腻的描述和深入透彻的说理。法律文书、条约宪章基本使用长句,庄重而严谨,而在小说的紧张关头连续使用短句可以有效烘托气氛。长短句搭配使用能使文章张弛有度,避免单调、呆板,更有助于表达观点、抒发感情。学会用多样化的句式表达丰富的思想内容才能使一篇作文尽善尽美,才能向读者捧出一个较为完美的充满生机的文字作品。如:

One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher until one's cheeks burned with the silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. One dollar and eighty-seven cents. And the next day would be Christmas.

这是美国作家欧·亨利的名作“麦琪的礼物”的第一段,共有7句话,前三句和后三句都是短句,每句不超过8个单词,第四句是个长句,由34个单词构成。句子长短差异悬殊,对比很明显。从表达效果来看,短句因为短,所以传递的信息格外醒目,令人印象深刻而难忘,并且在简洁中营造出凄凉的氛围。中间的那个长句则生动表现出了主人公为了省钱而讨价还价的艰难、漫长与尴尬。再如:

He was born in a small village. His father was a teacher in the village school. His mother did the housework. He began to go to his father's school at seven. He graduated from it six years later.Then he went to the junior middle school in a nearby town. He studied at a senior middle school in the county seat. He was a good student there. He got good marks at the college entrance examinations. He wanted to build a highway for his home village in future. He loved his village very much.

句子外部形态的变化也就是长短句、简单句、复杂句的交替使用。我们提倡句子简练,但不是说都用简单句。有人认为在写作中,采用简单句、短句容易掌握、不会出错、因而也最保险。这话没错,但简单句用得太多,造成简单句的堆砌,实际上是语言技巧不成熟、不老练,甚至语言水平低下的表现。在某种意义上来说,在词数相同的作文中,语言水平越高,语言技巧越熟练,句子的数目也就越少。这就意味着句子长了,而句子长了,句子结构就复杂了。上面这段文字中,无论是结构还是意思,每个句子都是完整的,但所有的句子都是简单句,这在一定程度影响了该段文字的表达质量。因此,我们需要作一些修改:

He was born in a small village. His father taught at the village school and his mother did the housework. He began to study at his father's school at seven and six years later entered the junior middle school in a nearby town. After graduation, he was admitted to a senior middle school in the county seat, where he proved to be a good student. He took the national college entrance examinations, got good marks in most subjects, and was able to enroll in a university in the provincial capital. As a major in civil engineering, he cherished the dream of building a highway for his home village, which he dearly loved.

改写后的课文只有六句,穿插使用了简单句、复合句和并列句三种句型,而且简单句中分词短语的使用也丰富了表达。全文流畅自然,节奏适中,句型多样化的效果非常明显。

一篇作文中能够根据表达的内容使用不同的句子结构,会产生较好的艺术效果。我们在写作中措辞造句要尽量避免单调、反复地使用简单句,反复地使用同一种句式结构容易使文章索然无味,缺乏表现力;反之,多样化的遣词造句则会使文章丰富生动,耐人寻味。