完美无瑕的新年决心　My Picture-Perfect New Year’s Resolution

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

～Hugh Downs

I never make resolutions. Every December 31st, at the stroke of midnight, my mind usually wanders from the resolution-making task at hand and is more concerned with why I'm not at a fabulous confetti-filled party somewhere, wearing a cocktail dress, and talking to a dashing gentleman（who might even have an accent）.I mean, will all of my photo albums consist of consecutive New Year's Eves with me in my sweats, covered in cat hair, eating leftovers, with a distant glimmer of hope in my eye?Seriously?All I want is one, just one；fantastic picture to hang on my wall so all the world can see what an exciting and enviable life I lead-is that too much to ask?Not that I have anything against Dick Clark.He's a great date, and he always shows up.

One year, all of this sullen introspection got me to thinking about expectations. Why did I feel the pressure to have a picture-perfect New Year's Eve?Why did I care if people thought my life was exciting?Probably the same reason I felt like I should be settled in a career and married with three kids already.Throughout most of my life, I had deviated from the norm；somehow, I still felt it necessary to make apologies and excuses for my decisions.

But, why?Where was this desperate need to please coming from?I had traveled the world, owned my own business, bought my first home, and started fulfilling my dream of writing all before the age of twenty-five. So what did I have to apologize for?Well, as previously stated, I was still single and indecisive about my career, which for a woman of my age was not considered“the norm”.（Dear me, whatever shall they say at the class reunion?）

Then, suddenly, as I was about to ring in the new year by doing a load of laundry, an epiphany shone down from the heavens. It was a lightning bolt of realization.For my very first resolution, I was going to resolve not to care.Not to care about anyone's expectations but my own and to make no apologies for it.After all, I had gone wherever the road had taken me, and it had taken me to a lot of fabulous places-places I never would have been able to go if I had“settled down”already.Not to mention, I'd probably be starring in Desperate Housewives or making an appearance on Divorce Court.

And as far as my career went, being indecisive was just being honest. I couldn't change who I was just because I didn't fit into the social norm.At least I wasn't going to watch my life go by as I punched the clock at a job I hated, in order to climb a very shaky and uninteresting corporate ladder.No thanks！If I didn't try out my options, I would never discover my passions.And don't we all want to do something we feel passionate about?

Of course, these were all great thoughts, but actually incorporating them into my everyday thinking process would be a whole other story……So, was I able to rise to the challenge of my very first resolution?

Well, let's just say that I have made the choice to be okay. Okay with my single hood and my ever-changing career path, and okay that others might not be okay with it.I think that is the most important ingredient.And every New Year's Eve, I make sure to clear my schedule, dress up in my ugliest sweats, eat some delicious leftovers, and relax with my cat.Then as I tune in to watch the rest of the world create a picture-perfect New Year's, I glance at the photos on my own wall and think，“What a beautiful year it has been.”

～Britteny Elrick

决定一个人快不快乐的不是他所处的环境，而是他的心态。

——休·唐斯

我从来没有下过决心。每年12月31日，午夜钟声敲响时，我总是胡思乱想，忘了下决心。我任思绪信马由缰，想着自己为什么没有身处一场精彩华丽的聚会，没有穿着晚礼服，没有和时髦帅气的男士闲谈（他或许还带点口音）。我是说，在好几年新年前夜拍下的照片中，我都穿着运动套装，浑身猫毛，吃着残羹剩饭，眼睛里闪烁着近乎绝望的光芒，为什么会这样？说真的，为什么会这样？我想要的就是一张照片，一张挂在墙上的完美照片，这样全天下的人都能知道我过着激动人心、让人欣羡的生活——难道这个要求很过分吗？我倒不反感迪克·克拉克25，他是个很棒的约会对象，而且每个新年都会准时出现在电视屏幕里。

有一年，这些令人郁郁寡欢的想法反而让我思考未来。我为什么想要一个完美无瑕的新年前夜？还因为这个弄得自己如负重荷？为什么要在乎别人是否觉得我的生活激动人心？也许是出于同样的原因吧，我也觉得自己应该找一份稳定的职业，有一个和睦的家庭，生三个孩子。回头看看我走来的路，大多都与众不同；但不知怎么的，我还是觉得应该为以前的决定而感到愧疚遗憾。

但是，究竟为什么呢？为什么总是拼命想迎合世人的眼光？25岁前，我就周游世界、拥有了自己的事业、买下了第一套房子，而且实现了作家的梦想。那么，我还有什么可遗憾的呢？就像之前说的，我仍旧孑然一身，对自己的事业犹豫不决，按照我这把年纪的女性来说，确实是“与众不同”。（哦，上帝啊，同学聚会时他们会怎么说啊？）

那天，我正准备洗一堆衣服来迎接新年。突然，仿佛有一道闪电划过，我醍醐灌顶般明白了些什么。我作出了人生第一个决心，那就是不再去在乎别人怎么看。不在乎别人的期望，而是在乎自己的感受，并且不再患得患失。毕竟我是沿着自己选的这条路一路走来，它带我领略过许多美妙的地方，如果我真的“稳定”下来，就无法领略这些美景了。更何况，我还有可能成为《绝望的主妇》中的人物，或者遇到与《离婚庭审》中相似的场面。

而在事业上，正是由于诚实直率，我才会如此犹豫不决。我不能改变，因为我不愿意拘泥于社会规范的条条框框。选择一份讨厌的工作，每天得准时打卡上班，战战兢兢地往公司高层爬，接着做索然无味的事情——至少我不愿意看到生活变成这样。不，谢谢了！如果不尝试走自己的路，就永远找不到激情。难道我们不想找些能点燃激情的事情来做？

当然了，这些都是远大宏伟的想法，把这些想法融入日常生活又是另一码事了……所以，我能真正践行自己人生中的第一个决心吗？

至少我的选择还不错，选择单身，选择坚持自己百变多样的职业道路，即使其他人觉得这样不好。我觉得，这才是最重要的。每个新年前夜，我都会抽出时间，穿上最丑的运动套装，吃一些可口的剩菜剩饭，和猫咪一起玩耍。然后，我看着电视上其他人迎接美好的新年，不禁瞅了一眼自家墙上的照片，想道：这一年过得真不错。

——布里坦妮·厄尔里克

我真能做到吗？Can I Really Do This?

If you hear a voice within you say“you cannot paint，”then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.

～Vincent Van Gogh

I am not giving up chocolate or martinis for my resolution. Or even chocolate martinis！But I am giving up something.

And let me tell you, it's been hard. I mean, it's been really, really difficult.I am giving up being so hard on myself.I had no IDEA what a challenge that would be！

It's been a tough few days so far. No longer can I get upset if my hair doesn't look right, nor can I ask my husband if my behind looks too big in my jeans.I can't call myself an“idiot”for missing my exit, nor can I berate myself for having a messy closet.（And it does look like a tornado swept through it.）

My challenge is to be nice to myself. My goodness-was I ever self-programmed！Are you programmed to talk badly to yourself or to put yourself down?Do you tell yourself that you are stupid, old or klutzy-or too fat, too skinny, too tall or too short?My goal is to feel one hundred percent comfortable in my skin.

It's not all about my looks either. I can't be hard on myself if I make a mistake at work, if I burn the roast（I mean charred！）or make lumpy mashed potatoes.I can't chew myself out if I forget to mail my credit card bill（sorry, honey）or lose（misplace?）my car keys yet one more time.

I had no idea what a“hobby”my self-deprecation was！No longer can I glance sidelong into a grocery store window and compare myself to one of the Munch kins in The Wizard of Oz.（Remember the fat one in the green suit?）

Self-love is attainable-but first we have to, as Dr. Phil says，“Change our inner dialogue.”Boy, that is not easy, is it?I'm not used to patting myself on the back-or looking into the mirror and thinking I look great！I'm not used to admitting to myself that yeah, dinner did taste pretty good tonight-I can really make a killer meatloaf.I'm not used to being thankful when I arrive at an appointment on time and in one piece and didn't yell at even one other car.

It's only been a few days. I am hoping that I can change my habits for good……I keep smiling and telling myself that I am fine just the way I am, thank you！

～Karen Kelly

如果听见一个声音说“你画不好的”，那么就全力以赴去画画吧！这个声音自然会消失得无影无踪。

——文森特·凡·高

我不会为了履行决心而放弃吃巧克力，或者放弃喝马提尼酒，甚至放弃巧克力马提尼酒也不行！不过，我确实正在努力放弃一些东西。说实话，这可真难。我是说，真的真的没那么容易。我的新年决心就是不再对自己那么苛刻。我当初没想到实现它竟会这么难！

到目前为止，这些天以来，我过得很艰难。如果我的发型不好看，我再也不能为此沮丧失落。我也不能问丈夫，我套着牛仔裤的腿从背后看是不是很粗？我不能再因为走错出口而骂自己“傻瓜”，也不能再因为衣橱不整齐而严厉自责（我的衣橱看上去就像刚遭遇过龙卷风一样）。

我面临的挑战就是如何对自己好一点儿。上帝啊，难道这都是自找的吗？你会对自己说难听的话，然后把自己弄得情绪低落吗？你会说自己愚蠢、苍老、笨手笨脚，或者不是太胖就是太瘦，不是太高就是太矮吗？我的目标就是让自己完全放松，心情愉悦。

这也不完全和外表相关。如果工作时犯了错，如果把肉烤焦了（都快烧成炭了！），如果土豆泥做得不均匀，我也不能对自己太苛刻。如果忘记邮寄信用卡账单（对不起了，亲爱的），或者不止一次弄丢车钥匙（或者放错了地方？），我也不能呵斥自己。

我不知道这种自我贬损算哪门子“嗜好”！我再也不能用余光瞥一眼杂货店的窗户，把自己和《绿野仙踪》的小矮人们比较一番。（还记得那个穿着绿衣服的胖女人吗？）

爱自己是可以做到的，但正如菲尔大夫所说，我们必须首先“改变对自己说的话”。嘿，这可不容易，对吧？我可不习惯自我安慰，或者照着镜子自我感觉良好！我也无法认可自己的晚餐做得很可口，因为我真能把肉饼做得难以下咽。即使我安然无恙地准时赴约，路上也没有朝别的车子大喊大叫，我也不会心存感激。

立下决心后才过去了几天。我希望能彻底改变自己的习惯……我一直微笑着告诉自己，这样很好，谢谢！

——凯伦·凯莉