拒绝　No

Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.

～Ftty Hillesum

It was a warm winter day and I remember wearing a short-sleeved red checkered blouse with my favorite blue skirt. Suddenly though, I felt a chill and I froze.

It was at a community meeting of women. I was comfortable as we visited and shared stories.And then, it happened.The hostess handed us each a paper and pencil and asked us to write down our New Year's resolution.

My pencil wouldn't write. Those around me smiled and wrote non-stop.I knew my friend to my left was writing about the new diet she was going to go on the first of the year.My friend to the right had to be writing about making more money in her job, as that was always her primary focus.Someone across the room was chuckling out loud as she described the man of her dreams who she was determined to find in the coming year.

I was blank. Blank and confused.I thought about my everyday life.I am content.Sometimes I am really tired and often wish there were more minutes in a day.But, don't most of us think those things?I am happy in my relationships.I love my job and my family and friends.I work out and feel fit.I volunteer in the schools, in the community and for many organizations.I am always there when someone needs me for car pool, an emergency, or to run an errand.Wow！What to do?

Others were folding their resolutions in half once and then again. The crackly sound of the paper folding annoyed me as my page was still empty.Everyone smiled as they placed their well-chosen words into a basket.Then they discussed openly and happily how the new year would change them.“For the better”was the agreement by all and a toast was made with sparkling cider.I wanted to be in on the toast.

My face turning red to match my shirt, I knew I had to write something. This same group of women vowed to look at these resolutions at the same party, same place, same time……next year.So in a rush I wrote something down, folded it and folded it again, and put it in the basket.

“Say no.”That was all I inscribed on my resolution.

That was the best resolution I have ever made. And, I kept it！I realized on that warm winter day that I had become too busy doing for everyone else.I believe in volunteering and reaching out to help others.That is a gift I love to give.However, listening to the giggles and busy chatter about other women's daily lives, I heard the word“No”in my mind.I realized that I had stopped reading books, watching my favorite shows on television, baking fresh bread, or sitting on the couch relaxing.I resolved that I could still give to others, lead my busy fulfilling life, and also save time for me.

Each woman left with a colorful sparkly hat to wear on New Year's Eve and a hug for happiness in the New Year. I left feeling heavy, and wondering what they would think of me in one year when the paper with my brief words was unfolded.

On the way home, enjoying the birds singing and observing the colorful trees lining the street, I realized that it didn't matter. What mattered was, for once, me taking care of me.I even said it out loud，“I need to take care of me！”I never told anyone this before, but that New Year's resolution began even before the hands on the clock ever got to midnight for the New Year.When I got home, I brewed a cup of my favorite herbal tea, turned on the television, and turned on the answering machine.

I learned something that December day. Writing my resolution truly opened my eyes.I actually asked myself questions out loud：“Where had I been?What was I thinking?”I reflected back on being a child and always hearing my grandparents saying，“Life is too short.”They are no longer here to know the impact they made on my most meaningful New Year's resolution.I never knew a New Year's resolution could work out and come true.Mine did, I think about it every year.

～Gail Small

有时候，一天中最重要的事情就是深呼吸，好好放松一下。

——艾蒂·海勒申

那是一个暖洋洋的冬日。我记得自己穿了一件红格子衬衫，还配上了最喜欢的蓝色裙子。但是突然之间，我打了个寒战，浑身冰凉。

我参加了社区里的一场女性聚会。大家互相问候，分享自己的故事，我感到很惬意。接着，那件事情发生了。这场会议的女主持人发给我们纸笔，让我们写下各自的新年决心。

我根本下不了笔。身边的人都面带微笑，行云流水般地写下自己的决心。我知道左边的朋友正在写新的节食计划，她准备新年一开始就执行。右边的朋友在写要挣更多钱，因为她总是最看重金钱。房间对面的某个人咯咯大笑，念叨着心中的白马王子，她决定要在新的一年里找到心中的那个“他”。

我的脑中一片空白。不但空白，而且迷惑重重。我想到自己每天的生活。我很知足。有时候，我真的身心俱疲，常常希望每天能多一些时间。不过，难道我们大多数人不这么想吗？我的人际关系让我心情愉悦，我热爱自己的工作，爱家人和朋友。我坚持锻炼身体，所以身材保持得也还不错。我在学校、社区和许多组织当义工。有人需要搭车，遇上紧急情况或者想找个人跑腿时，我也会有求必应。哇噻！我还能做些什么？

其他人都把写好的纸对折，再对折。听着大家折纸的咔咔声，再看看自己手上空空如也的纸，我恼怒不安。每个人都微笑着把思前想后写下的纸条放入篮子。接着，她们欢快地讨论起新年决心会如何改变自己。大家都觉得“一切会更好”，互相举着苹果酒碰杯。我也好想加入啊！

我的脸涨得通红，快跟衣服颜色差不多了。我知道我必须写点什么了。这群女人立誓要在明年同样的时间、同样的地点举办同样的聚会，然后当众打开今天的纸条，看大家的践行情况到底如何。于是，我草草几笔写了点东西，对折了两下扔进篮子。

“学会拒绝。”这就是我写下的决心。

这是我下过的最好的决心，而且我还坚持下来了！在那个暖洋洋的冬日，我突然明白自己为别人操心太多了。我喜欢当志愿者，喜欢帮助他人。乐于助人是我的天性。然而，听着其他女人有说有笑聊着自己的日常生活，“拒绝”这个词盘旋在我的脑海。我发现自己好久没有看书了，没有看电视上喜爱的节目，也没有烤新鲜的面包或者坐在沙发上休息。我决定在帮助他人、充实生活的同时，也可以为自己留点时间。

每个离开的女人都拿上了一顶五颜六色、闪闪发光的帽子，准备新年前夜戴，然后还互相拥抱，祝福新年快乐。我离开的时候心情很沉重，心想，如果明年她们看到我草草写下的纸条该作何感想。

回家的路上，我聆听鸟儿的啼唱，观赏路边色彩斑斓的树木，觉得这没什么大不了。最重要的是，我终于能为自己着想一下了。我甚至大声喊道：“我需要多顾着点自己！”以前，我从来没对人这么说过，但是当时钟还没走到新年第一天的零点时，我就开始践行这一决心了。回到家后，我泡了一杯最爱喝的药茶，打开电视机，接着又打开了电话答录机。

12月的那一天，我有所收获。写下新年决心真的让我豁然开朗。我大声询问自己：“我过去都做了什么？我当时在想什么？”我想起了小时候爷爷奶奶总挂在嘴边的一句话：“人生苦短。”祖父母现在肯定无法知道，在他们的影响下，我才立下这么有意义的新年决心。我一直觉得，没有哪一个新年决心能真正践行到底，变为现实。这一年我立下的决心却做到了，而且每年我都会想一想这个决心。

——盖尔·斯莫尔