微不足道的新年决心　Just a Small New Year’s Resolution

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

～T.S.Eliot

I sit in the high school auditorium and watch my youngest, Meagan, receive her diploma. The blue and yellow cords over her red gown testify to the awards she won and the excellent work she did in school.I think of her bright smile just a few days ago, when she received her scholarship award from the university of her choice.

Her older brother holds a degree in physics and computers；one sister is an engineer, and two other sisters are planning to attend evening classes at colleges near them. And to think all of this came about because of one simple, even selfish, New Year's resolution I had made many years ago！

That New Year's Eve, I returned to the living room from tucking the first two of my children into bed.

“I've decided on my New Year's resolution，”my husband said, looking up from watching the New Year's celebration on TV.“I'm going to save for my pilot lessons. If I don't start now, I’ll never achieve my dream of flying a plane some day.”

“Good for you，”I answered.“But what about me?I'm stuck with the kids all day. It's not that I don't enjoy being a mother, but sometimes I wish I could do something for myself, too.”

“Why don't you?”Gary suggested.“I'm sure you can think of something to do away from home.”His attention returned to the show.

I sat down next to him, my eyes on the TV, and my thoughts about three thousand miles away. I could take an English class at the nearby college.That way, I'd get out of the house and learn something useful.And maybe I could improve my accent, so people would understand me better.After all, I'd come to the United States with my American husband only four years ago.

I grew up in post WWII Germany. At fourteen, after eight years of school, my mother sent me to work in a factory to support her and my five siblings.But even then I wanted more.I joined an American Christian church, and with the encouragement of my new friends, attended evening classes to learn English.

And now here I was, cut off from my family, mostly enjoying being a mother. But sometimes I wanted more.After all, I rationalized, if I take a class again, it wouldn't just benefit me；my children would have an advantage, too.

“You're right，”I said.“I'll see if the college will allow me to take an English class. Just one class won't keep me away from the kids too long.”

“Give it a try，”my husband said.“I'm sure you'll do well.”

But in my heart, I wondered. Taking a college class would be different from night classes learning English.I didn't know if I had the stuff to succeed in a university setting.

By the time classes started again, I realized I was expecting baby number three, so, half relieved and half disappointed, I postponed my resolution.

One day in March, after I'd put the kids down and finished cleaning up the supper dishes, my husband called to me from the living room，“I found a teacher.”

Guilt made me almost drop the glass in my hand.“What teacher?”I yelled back.

“A pilot, licensed to teach flying.”

“Oh.”He wasn't talking about me, after all. Not everybody sticks to their New Year's resolution, I thought as I put away the last glass and then plopped onto the sofa next to him.

“What about your resolution?”he challenged me.“Have you signed up yet at the college?”

I shook my head.“I'm pregnant, you know.”

“That shouldn't keep you from going back to school. If you sign up now, you could take the spring semester and be done in plenty of time before the baby comes.”

I realized Gary was right. The worst that could happen would be that I'd drop the class again.I thought of the never-ending tasks at home, cooking three meals every day, a job I didn't really enjoy, chasing after Marja, the two year old, until I was exhausted, helping Dennis with homework, cleaning floors and washing dishes, wiping noses and changing diapers, and the prospect of soon having one more little life dependent on me.I knew I needed to do something for myself.

The next day, after dropping Dennis off at kindergarten, I took little Marja and we went to see the registrar at the college. I asked to be admitted to English 101 and told him I had the money ready.He made me fill out some papers.When he read them, he shook his head at my lack of a high school certificate.

“Okay，”he finally said.“Try English 101. If you do well, you can keep taking classes.”

I smiled as I returned to my car with a lighter heart.

A friend down the road babysat Marja three times a week while I attended class. I loved discovering the different styles of writing essays and trying my hand at them.At home, when I was busy with some routine task, in my head I went over what I had learned that day, and in the evenings, instead of watching TV with Gary, I sat at the table doing my homework.

I walked away from that first class with an A+.

After Daniel was born, I took English 102 and 103，and then put my education on hold while my fourth child Marit came along. Two years later, even though I was expecting again, I knew I had to return to school.This time I took three classes at a time and paid a babysitter with the money I made typing term papers for other students.Our home wasn't as clean as it used to be and the older children helped cook, but I was happier, and my kids were proud of their mom, who also went to school, just like they did.

Two years later the sixth child was on the way, but by that time my marriage had become rocky, and my need to have an education was strong. I finished finals for my second-to-last semester the day before Meagan was born, and I took her with me to classes as I finished my AA in English and Foreign Languages.

Half a year later, I separated from Gary and moved with my six children to Cedar City, where I attended the university full-time. I divorced my husband a year before I earned my BA in German, English, and Spanish, and a teaching certificate.

I taught high school for three years, and then I returned to the university for a Master's in Language Acquisition. Again, my children and I went to school together.I remember getting special permission from a professor during summer semester to bring little Meagan along with me to a class.

Now, as I sit in the auditorium, watching Meagan get ready for the university, I realize the impact of the New Year's resolution I made so long ago. Because I followed through on that resolution, education has changed not just my life, but the futures of all my children.

～Sonja Herbert

只有甘愿冒险不断前进的人，才会知道最终能够到达何方。

——T. S.艾略特

我坐在高中的大礼堂里，看着最小的女儿米根领取毕业证书。米根红色的长袍上有蓝黄两条带子，这证明她在学校表现出色，还得到了奖项。我不禁想起几天前这丫头收到了理想中的大学的奖学金，当时她笑得是那么灿烂。

米根的哥哥已经获得了物理学和计算机的学位，米根的一个姐姐是工程师，另外两个姐姐打算去她们家附近的大学读夜校。想想这一切，都是因为我数年前下了那个简单甚至有些自私的新年决心！

那一年的新年前夜，我给两个孩子掖好被子，回到起居室。

“我想好自己的新年决心了，”丈夫不再盯着电视屏幕上的欢庆活动，他抬起头来跟我说，“我准备存钱上飞行员课程。如果现在不存的话，就再也无法实现开飞机的梦想了。”

“挺好的呀，”我答道，“那我呢？我整天都要照顾孩子。不是说我不喜欢当妈妈，但有时候我也想做点自己的事情。”

“为什么不做呢？”加里问道，“我敢肯定，除了家务活，你还能找到别的事情做。”他又聚精会神地看起了电视。

我坐在他身旁，盯着电视机荧屏，思绪却飘到了九霄云外。我可以在附近的大学报门英语课程。这样的话，我就不必整天忙着做家务，还能学点有用的东西。也许我可以纠正一下发音，好让别人更容易听懂我在说什么。毕竟，我随美国籍的丈夫来美已经是第四个年头。

我在第二次世界大战后的德国长大。上了八年学后，母亲就送我去工厂工作，帮助她和我的五个兄弟姐妹谋生。那时我才14岁。即使在那时候，我也想多学一点。我加入了一个美国基督教教会，在新朋友的鼓励下，我参加了夜校，学习英文。

现在，我身处美利坚，和家里人已经断了联络。大部分时间里，我都享受着做母亲的快乐。但有时，我也想多学一点。我明白，如果能多上点课，不仅对我有益，对孩子也大有裨益。

“你说得对！”我自言自语道，“我得看看大学允不允许我去上英语课。只上一门课的话，不会太耽误我照顾孩子的。”

“试一试吧，”丈夫说道，“我敢肯定，你一定能学得很好。”

不过，在内心深处我开始怀疑自己。去大学学习英语和在夜校学习根本是两码事。不知道在大学环境里，我是否具备成功的素质。

学校开学时，我知道自己又怀上了第三个孩子。所以，我只好推迟了这个决定，心里有些许轻松，些许失落。

三月份的一天，在我把孩子安顿好、洗好晚餐的盘子时，丈夫在起居室冲我喊道：“我找好老师了。”

我的内疚感油然而生，差点打碎手中的玻璃杯。“什么老师？”我喊道。

“一个飞行员，有教驾驶飞机的执照。”

“噢……”原来他不是在说我的事。我放好最后一只玻璃杯，一屁股坐在丈夫旁边的沙发上，心里想道，不是每个人都能坚持自己的新年决心。

“你下的决心进展如何了？”丈夫发难了，“去大学报名了吗？”

我摇摇头：“我怀孕了，你知道的。”

“不应该因为这个不去学校啊。如果现在报名，还能赶得上春季课程，在宝宝出生前还有充裕的时间完成学习。”

我觉得加里说得没错。最糟糕的事情就是我以后还会放弃学习。我想到了无休止的家务活，一天做三顿饭，我一点都不喜欢做饭；每天得追着两岁的玛丽亚，弄得我筋疲力尽；辅导丹尼斯做功课；擦地板，洗盘子；给孩子擦鼻涕，换尿布。很快，我又要生下一个孩子，又要为了新生的小家伙儿忙里忙外。我知道，应该为自己做点事情了。

第二天，我开车把丹尼斯送到幼儿园，然后带着小玛丽亚去找大学的报名注册员。我问他能不能报名参加英语101课程，并告诉他我的学费已经准备好了。他让我填了几张表。他看这些表格时，发现我没有高中毕业证，忍不住摇了摇头。

“好吧，”他终于松口了，“去英语101课试试吧。如果学得好，就继续学下去。”

我走向自己的车子时，脸上浮起一丝微笑，顿时觉得轻松许多。

我去上课时，住在同一条街上的一个朋友一周来我们家三次，帮忙照顾玛丽亚。我喜欢学习领会写作的不同方法，也喜欢练练笔，写上几篇。在家的时候，如果家务活缠身，我就会在脑子里把当天学习的内容过一遍。晚上，我不再和老公一起看电视了，而是坐在桌边写会儿作业。

第一个课程结束时，我取得了A+的成绩。

丹尼尔出生后，我又上了英语102和英语103课程。第四个孩子玛莉特意外来到时，我将学业暂时搁置。两年后，我又怀孕了，但我知道我必须回到学校。这一次，我一口气报了三个班。我在电脑上帮其他学生打学期论文赚钱，赚来的钱用来支付保姆的薪水。家里没有以前那么干净了，大一点的孩子也会帮忙做饭，但我的心情却更加愉悦。孩子们也为我感到骄傲，因为我和他们一样都坚持上学读书。

两年后，我又怀上了第六个孩子。那时候，我的婚姻已经危如累卵，但我接受教育的决心却坚如磐石。米根出生的前一天，我才刚刚完成倒数第二学期的期末考试。我在英语和外语课上拿到双A后，带着米根一起去上课。

半年后，我和加里分居了，带着六个孩子搬到锡达城居住。在那里，我成了一名全日制大学生。我和加里离婚一年后，拿到了德语、英语和西班牙语的学士学位，还获得了教师资格证。

我在高中教了三年书，然后又回到大学攻读语言学的硕士。这一次，我又是和孩子一起上学。还记得夏季学期时，教授特批我带着小米根一起来听课。

现在，我坐在大礼堂里，看着米根踌躇满志，准备步入大学，我这才意识到，许多年前定下的新年决心竟然造成这么深远的影响。我坚持不懈地践行决心，所以教育不仅改变了我的人生，也改变了孩子的未来。

——索尼娅·赫伯特