一份从未得到的母亲节礼物　TheBestMother’sDayPresentINeverGot

Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

～Art Linkletter

My resolution didn't start out in the traditional sense, as a personal resolve made at the threshold of the New Year. No, mine came about much more covertly-stealthily camouflaged in the guise of ingratitude and sullenness.

Two years ago-Mother's Day 2006-my life changed, and I owe it all to the best present I never got.

Benchmark events change a woman's life forever-graduating, getting married, having a child-the“biggie”events in many women's lives. But events like those are often anticipated and foreseen.What made Mother's Day 2006 so very different for me was that I did not immediately recognize the true transformative nature of the life-changing gift that had been bestowed upon me.

The day started out simply enough. Sleeping in on a lazy Sunday morning, I awoke about 8：00 A.M.with the quasi-expectation of being roused by the sounds of my sons and my husband sweeping into the room, carrying a tray brimming with goodies for a leisurely and luxurious breakfast in bed.

When that didn't happen, I got up, got dressed and then went downstairs, expecting a“SURPRISE！”or at least a heartfelt“Happy Mother's Day！”Again……nothing. Just two kids plopped in front of the TV and my husband on the computer.

The day continued to unfold uneventfully, and while I was not waiting with bated breath for a present or mom-centric celebration, I did have the minimal expectation of at least being acknowledged, and perhaps even thanked with a few words of gratitude. Something along the lines of，“Thanks for giving me life and bringing me into this world, and for providing for my every need and the majority of my wants.Thank you for saying‘no'to me for my own good, even when I‘hate'you for it and would really like you to say‘yes'，knowing full well it would probably be to my own detriment.”

Okay, nothing quite that self-aware or mature, but at least a token“Thanks Mom, I love you！”Something simple to complete my family's own little Hallmark moment.

The day wore on with nary a word about the significance of the day.“Aha！They must be planning a stealth dinner out somewhere，”I told myself. Dinnertime rolled around and with no sign of going out, I plopped some frozen enchiladas into the oven（its temperature assuredly Siberian compared to my boiling and seething inside）.

That's it！How dare they?I cannot believe they didn't do anything for me, and that the entire day went by with not so much as a“Happy Mother's Day, Mom！”Okay. I get it.You all think it's all about you, and that I am just some extraneous presence put in this household to serve you all.Well, I'll show you！From now on, I am putting all of you and your needs on the back burner and tending to MY wants, MY needs and MY desires first！

When I finished ranting my stream-of-consciousness soliloquy, I resolved to start making time for me, and to pursue my long-neglected passions and talents-those I'd subjugated to the maternal and marital duties of taking care of my family. I logged onto the Internet and enrolled in the online writing course I'd had my eye on but never had enough time to take when I was so terribly busy putting my family first and me last.

Six weeks went by, and I learned so much from the class and my wonderful instructor that I succeeded in selling my first article before the course was over. Bolstered by this success, I timidly approached my local town paper, inquiring if they might be in need of a freelance writer to cover local topics.Lo and behold, they said yes, and I was now being published weekly and thus further along on a life's journey I never planned to take.

I took more writing classes, and started getting more articles accepted for publication. After the third article, from a national periodical, my husband looked at me one day and said，“You're really a writer！”Something about those words solidified my resolve and made me say，“Yes！This is my new profession！”It wasn't a hobby, or something I did in my spare time.His words cemented the fact that writing was now my career-a business that I made time for, and pursued with passion.

The dictionary defines“serendipity”as a natural gift for making useful discoveries by accident. I look back on Mother's Day 2006 now, not with anger or resentment, but with celebration and joy.I see it as the year when I was certain that I got“nothing”，but instead got“everything”.

I see now the great bounty I received-a gift far greater than could ever be found on a store shelf or a restaurant menu. Mother's Day 2006 brought to me a gift that until that day I had never even imagined-anew career, a renewed passion, and an opportunity to pursue my love of learning（and get paid）！A chance to commune with my fellow man, shape viewpoints and most importantly……to touch lives.

All of these things came not so much from my children, but from within myself. I look back and reflect that I was the only one holding me back from following my dreams and passion.I had been so busy doing for my family that I had let a part of me wither and waste away inside.

Resentful of that day's events, I could have easily wallowed in self-pity. Instead, I chose to make proverbial lemonade from lemons, and to crawl through the window God opened once He shut the door.I chose happiness over resentment, and opted to look for it within myself instead of seeking and depending on it from others.

I can laugh now, and fondly recall that the best Mother's Day gift I never got was one of the best presents my kids could ever have“given”me. I appreciate even more, however, that heeding that lesson was the greatest gift I could ever have given myself.

～Mary Hay Davis

方法到位，就会有最好的结果。

——林艾克

我下决心的过程与众不同。我并不是在新年之际定下了个人决心，而更像是偷偷摸摸决定的，还打着忘恩负义和情绪消沉的幌子。

两年前，也就是2006年的母亲节，我的生活发生了转折，这都要归功于一份我从未收到的礼物，一份最棒的礼物。

女人一生有这么几个大的转折点：毕业、结婚、生子，这些都是女人生命中的“头等大事”。但这些大事都是能够预料得到的。2006年母亲节之所以与众不同，是因为我没有想到，生活竟为我准备了一份惊喜，很快就要给我的人生带来巨大的转变。

一开始，那一天平淡无奇。那是一个周日，我很晚才起床，差不多早上八点才醒。我朦朦胧胧地以为，孩子和丈夫会簇拥着走进房间，不慌不忙地拿着放满丰盛早餐的托盘，放到床边。

可这都是我的一相情愿。我起床穿好衣服，走下楼，期待有人会喊一声“惊喜哦！”或者至少有人会真情实意地喊一声“母亲节快乐！”但什么都没发生。我只看到两个孩子一屁股坐在电视前，丈夫稳稳地坐在电脑前。

那一天平平淡淡，什么也没发生。尽管我不再屏息凝神地期待意外的惊喜，比如有个礼物或者犒劳母亲的庆祝活动，但至少还期盼着能听到一句肯定的话，或者几句感谢的话，比如说“谢谢您给予我生命，让我来到这个世界，照顾我，给予我一切所需。谢谢您总是为了我好而说‘不’，哪怕您知道我会因此怀恨在心。您也知道我喜欢听到‘好’，但为了我的健康成长，您仍然会拒绝我”。

好吧，也许孩子不会想这么多，说这么深刻的话，但至少套话也会说吧：“妈妈，谢谢您，我爱您！”只要简单的几句话，就能成为我家庭生活值得纪念的时刻。

一天的时间逐渐流逝，没有人提起这一天有多么重要。“啊哈！他们可能暗地里已经安排好，准备去外面好好吃一顿呢。”我对自己说道。马上就要到吃饭时间了，但他们还是没有出去吃的意思。我把几个冰冻的辣肉馅玉米卷饼扔进烤箱（烤箱的温度与我怒火中烧的内心相比，就像西伯利亚地区那么寒冷）。

就这样！他们怎么可以这么对我？我不敢相信，一整天过去了，他们竟然什么也不做，连一句“妈，母亲节快乐！”都没有。好吧，我明白了。你们都是一帮以自我为中心的人，我不过是个无关紧要的外人，来这里就是为你们服务的。好吧，等着瞧吧！从今以后，我要把你们，还有你们的需求都扔到一边。我要先顾着自己的需要、自己的需求和自己的欲望！

我在内心咆哮完一串意识流独白后，决定把时间留给自己，把丢了很久的热情和才智找回来。以前作为一个贤妻良母，我把一切都贡献给了家庭。我打开浏览器，报名参加了网上写作课程。我很早就关注这个课程了，但是因为家庭至上的理念，我总是把自己的事情撂到最后，所以老是抽不出来参加的时间。

我的那个指导老师特别好。六个星期过去了，我从写作课程和老师那儿学到了很多。课程结束前，我成功卖出了第一篇文章。有这次成功打气鼓劲，我忐忑不安地联系了镇上的一家报社，询问他们是否需要自由撰稿人，来写写本地的一些话题。你猜怎么着？他们竟然同意了！现在，每周的报纸都会刊出我的文章。于是，我继续在这条人生道路上前进。我从未预料到自己会走上这条路。

我又报名参加了其他写作课程，越来越多的文章得以发表。在国家级期刊上发表了第三篇文章后，有一天丈夫看着我说道：“你这作家当得不错呀！”这句话越发坚定了我的决心，我回答道：“是啊！这是我的新职业！”这不是爱好，也不是什么闲暇之余做的事情。丈夫的话强调了一个事实，现在，写作已经成为我的职业，成为我愿意花时间，并且满腔热情去坚持的事业。

“serendipity”这个词在字典里的解释是意外发掘新奇事物的天赋。现在回头看看2006的母亲节，我既不生气，也不愤恨，而是感到庆幸和愉悦。那一年，我本以为自己什么也没得到，但事实上，我什么都得到了。

现在我觉得自己收获了最慷慨的礼物，这礼物比饭店的菜单或商场货架上的任何东西都要贵重。2006年母亲节收到的礼物完全超出了我的想象——崭新的职业，焕然一新的激情，同时还有重新坚持学习的热情（而且能挣钱）！哦，我还得到与其他人亲密交谈的机会，形成了自己独到的观点。最重要的是，我可以真正……接触不同人的生活。

这些东西都不是孩子给我的，而是我自己创造的。回首往事，我终于想明白，真正阻碍我追寻梦想和激情的，其实就是我自己。我总是为了家庭疲于奔命，忽视了自身，让自己的才华渐渐枯萎凋残。

如果对那天的事情耿耿于怀，我很可能就陷入了自怨自艾的深渊。幸好，正如谚语所言，塞翁失马，焉知非福。我抓住了这个机会，化劣势为优势。我选择依靠自己寻找快乐，而不是依赖别人。

我现在可以放声大笑，可以美滋滋地回忆最棒的母亲节礼物。我从未收到这份礼物，但孩子却“赠予”了我这辈子最美好的礼物。不过，我最感激的还是自己，我接受了生活给我的指引，那才是我送给自己的最棒的礼物。

——玛丽·赫伊·戴维斯