学会下决心　Learning to Make a Resolution

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

～Joseph Campbell

It was December 31st at 11：30 P. M.I had ducked into the washroom to check my make-up and take a breather.Once again, I had been invited to a party of married couples and those soon-to-be married.Friends and family, but nonetheless still the only awkwardly single, well-divorced and single woman in the room.I did look good though in my little black dress and perfect pumps but really, who was here to notice except my best buddies；my sisters.Their compliments were sweet at the beginning of the evening, and appreciated, but now as I was fast approaching the hour of couples kissing in the New Year those compliments were giving me little solace.

I knew that I would have to face bringing in another year by kissing either the dog or, if I were lucky, I could sneak upstairs to my sleeping nephew and peck his cheek while he lay in his crib. The kissing part was uncomfortable, but really not the worst part of it all.Oh no, that would have to be the proverbial decision to come up with some resolution that I would be able to follow through with for once.

I stared in the mirror for a short time and then decided I should rejoin the others or, heaven forbid, miss out on the whole ritualistic display of affection. But the thoughts continued to cross my mind and then, like a light, it hit me.

This was going to be my year. I was going to make everything happen and why shouldn't I?I would lose those pesky fifteen pounds, eat healthful meals, and start working out with a vengeance.I would meet Mr.Right and we would happily fall into blissful and absolute love within moments of seeing each other across a crowded room.Oh, how romantic！I would write my best selling novel and be swooped into a book tour across Europe and of course, meet Robert De Niro who was set to play the lead in the film version.

My gosh, my world would be terrific. Never mind these practical and predictable married types and their world of responsibilities, potluck dinners, school plays and bickering over where to put the new sofa.I was going to be fabulous and live a fabulous life and that's all there was to it.What a stupendous dream！And that's exactly what it was-a dream.

I guess no one can predict what's going to happen to them in any given year. I could not have predicted that a colleague would have chosen death over life that New Year's Eve.I couldn't have predicted that in February, I would meet a man who would invite me to an impromptu vacation in Las Vegas, only to be involved in a car crash that killed his best friend hours.

I could not have predicted the challenge of my personal relationships and my decision to end some friendships because they were no longer healthy for me. I could not have predicted the loneliness that came at the end of the year.I couldn't have predicted any of it.But then again, I don't think I could have predicted the lessons I learned either.

I learned that each year brings new hope for things to come and problems are never so big that death should ever be the only answer. I learned that plans change and we need to be flexible, and when I can help someone who has experienced a loss, I want to do it because it makes me feel good to help.I learned to rejoice over the little things and indulge in the simple things, such as spending time with family and friends.I learned that a four year old has more strength than most grown-ups and resilience is indeed a gift.I learned that it's okay to let go of those who don't make us feel good about ourselves, and it's okay to feel lonely every now and then；we're human.And I learned that life is not about predicting what will happen next, but about learning from the moments that will make up the next moments.

It's December 31st again, exactly 11：30 P. M.，and once again I'm going to make a resolution for the New Year to come.Nothing grandiose, just this：this year I will appreciate the experiences that I am given and hope that through the months to come I will learn a little something about myself, my world, and my life that may just make it a little better than it was before.

～Deborah Batt

我们不能计划人生，而要准备迎接人生。

——约瑟夫·坎贝尔

12月31日晚上11：30，我低头冲进盥洗室，补补妆，喘口气。又有人邀请我去参加聚会，来的人要么是已婚夫妇，要么是快要结婚的情侣。虽然都是朋友或者亲戚，但房间里只有我是离异的单身女人，这不免有些尴尬。我身穿小黑裙，脚踩惹眼的平底鞋，看上去还不错，但在这里只有好姐妹才会注意。聚会刚开始，她们的赞扬很温馨，也让我很感激，但是很快到了情侣在新年互吻的时刻，这时，她们的赞扬就连安慰也算不上了。

我知道自己又要迎来新的一年，这个新年我只能亲吻狗狗。幸运的话，可以偷偷溜上楼，趁侄子在儿童床上熟睡时，在他脸颊上轻轻吻上一口。聚会的亲吻环节让我浑身不自在，但还有比这更糟的。哦，不，这种情况下我一定要下决心做些事，并且这一次要坚持到底。

我瞅着镜子看了一会儿，决定重新回到聚会，但愿不用躲避这场秀恩爱的仪式。但是，几多思绪划过脑海，像一盏明灯照亮了我。

我要主宰来年。一切皆有可能。为什么不行动呢？我要减去这恼人的15斤赘肉，健康饮食，加倍努力地锻炼身体。我会遇见白马王子，我们会在拥挤的房间里双目对视，甜蜜地坠入爱河。噢！多浪漫呀！我会写出最畅销的小说，会在全欧洲赶场子，举办巡回售书活动。哦，当然啦，我还要见一见罗伯特·德·尼罗22，他会在由我的小说改编成的电影里出演男主角。

天哪，我的世界太美好了。不要在乎这些已婚的或者马上要结婚的人，他们的世界满是责任和义务。他们也就是一起吃吃家常便饭，看看孩子的校园演出，或者为了沙发的摆放位置拌拌嘴。我要变得更杰出，活得更精彩，仅此而已。多么伟大的梦想！不过，这就是一场梦罢了。

我想，没有人可以预知自己在某一年会发生什么。我无法预知一位同事会在新年前夜选择自尽。我无法预知在二月份会遇见一个男人，他一时兴起竟然邀请我去拉斯维加斯玩，结果我们出发前几小时，就不幸遭遇车祸，他最好的朋友不幸罹难。我无法预知四岁的侄女会和我父亲一样，确诊患上癌症，而母亲又要第二次和癌症作斗争。

我无法预知自己会在人际关系上遇到困难，也无法预知会和一些朋友绝交，因为这些人只是狐朋狗友而已。我无法预知年末之时自己会如此孤独。什么都无法预知。我也无法预知自己能吸取怎样的教训和经验。

我明白，每一年都会带来新希望，相比死亡，没有什么是跨不过去的坎。我也明白，计划赶不上变化，我们得灵活应对。如果我碰上受到打击的人，能帮就帮一把，因为这样做心里会好受些。我明白，平凡小事也能让自己心情愉悦，再简单的事也能令人痴迷，比如与家人和朋友在一起。我明白，四岁的孩子不见得没有大人坚强，坚忍不拔确实是一种天性。我明白，如果有些人让你心里别扭，那就干脆选择放手，哪怕一时觉得寂寞难耐也没关系。我们是人。我也明白了，生活不是猜测下一刻会发生什么，而是从过去汲取经验，为以后做好准备。

又是一年的12月31日，又是晚上11：30，我又要为新年下一个决心。不用下什么华而不实的决心，这就足够了：新的一年里，我要感激经历的一切事情，希望未来的几个月内，可以进一步认清自身，认清自己的世界和生活，这一定会让生活更美好。

——狄波拉·巴特