尚未解决　Un-Resolved

The person who views himself at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.

～Muhammad Ali

Age sixty-three：Birthday resolutions：I will lose weight. I will exercise until my muscles are firm and my pot belly disappears.I will look like I did back when I weighed 100 pounds soaking wet and ate anything I wanted.

I knew it was possible. I knew it was easy.I'd done it before.Why not again?

So I joined a gym and went faithfully three days a week.

First came the equipment room. It was filled with tanned, well-muscled men, toned women dressed in miniature Spandex clothing.I heard the clank of metal against metal, but the only piece of equipment I recognized was the treadmill.Cautiously pushing the start button, I began walking.Nothing to it.But after a few days, boredom turned my brain to the consistency of spoiled peaches.I tried reading while walking, but the print in the magazines bounced with every step and I got so dizzy I was afraid I'd go flying off the end and land ungracefully in a sweatpants and T-shirt heap against the wall.

Maybe, I decided, classes would be better. Yoga.I became very good at lying on my back on my purple mat, palms up, relaxing.In fact, I was an excellent relaxer.It was all those other poses that made me decide I wasn't yoga material after all.The day I crouched on the floor, looked out from under my legs, and vaguely tried to put my foot somewhere over my shoulder, I knew it was time to move on.

I'd never tried belly dancing. It looked like fun.How hard could it be?I bought a pale blue scarf with hundreds of little coins sewn on it and tied it around my waist.The metal coins jingled happily as I positioned myself in the second row.The music played.I swayed.And then I watched the teacher's firm hips gyrate in directions my hips would never go.Not in a million years.I tried.The jingling, pale blue scarf I'd been so proud of slid slowly to the floor as I shimmied.It went in the car's trunk with my yoga mat.

Line dancing?I couldn't remember the steps if there were more than four. Cardio?My face turned red and I was left gasping for air.

Did my muscles become firm with all of this effort?They did not. They screamed and cramped if I so much as approached the gym, and revolted by keeping me awake at night.

I didn't lose weight, either. In fact, I gained two pounds.

And that's when I saw myself reflected in the window of the No-Longer-Petite Store, over near the mall. Windows don't lie.“No matter what you do, woman，”it said，“you'll never look like you did forty years ago.Get real.Check it out.Hair turning gray.Sensible shoes.Square body.Think you're going to look twenty again?It ain't gonna happen.”

And that's when the happy truth hit me like a runaway skateboard. I'm at a different stage in my life now.Oh, I can exercise for my health, but nothing will ever give me back the body of my youth.And if I'm able to diet, I still won't end up looking like a thin and sleek magazine model babe；I'll just be a bony old lady.

Me?An old lady?Hey, that's what I am！The thought was liberating. I smiled.I wanted to dance right there on the sidewalk, and even took a few quick steps.

I was finally free to be me. To do what I wanted.To forget about what people expected.And guess what?I realized I was already a terrific old lady.I had smile crinkles surrounding my eyes.I welcomed any adventure that might come my way.And I was equipped with enough padding to make a comfortable lap for grandchildren to climb into.

Age sixty-three and a half：Un-birthday resolution：I'll be what I am, live in the moment, and enjoy the ride. After all, that's what life's all about！

～Michele Ivy Davis

如果50岁的人觉不出自己和20岁时的区别，那这个人就荒废了30年人生。

——穆罕默德·阿里

63岁的生日决心：减肥。我要坚持锻炼，练出健硕的肌肉，减掉啤酒肚。我要重新减回100磅，那时候我可以运动到大汗淋漓，想吃什么就吃什么。

我可以做到这些。我知道这易如反掌，既然以前成功过。为什么这次不可？

所以，我去健身房办了张卡，坚持一周去三天。

我先来到运动器械室。屋里全是皮肤晒成了深棕色的肌肉男，还有穿着弹性紧身衣、身材健壮的女人。耳旁回响着金属碰撞的声音，但我唯一认识的器械就是跑步机。我小心翼翼地按下开始按钮，踏着履带，迈开步子。这没什么难度。但几天以后，我就开始烦了，一想起跑步机就痛不欲生。我尝试在跑步的时候看看书，可是杂志上的文字随着脚步上下跳动，弄得我头晕眼花。我害怕自己会跟不上履带的速度，一下子滑下去，很丢脸地摔在墙边那堆运动长裤和T恤衫上。

我想，也许报个班会好一点。那就练瑜伽吧。我很快就能轻松地躺在紫色垫子上，掌心朝上，全身放松。其实，我放松起来是有一套的。但是一做其他动作，我就发现自己不是练瑜伽的料。那天，我蹲伏在地上，从腿的下方朝外张望，徒劳无功地想把脚搁在肩膀的某个地方。我知道，该换个练习班了。

我从没跳过肚皮舞，看上去还挺有意思的。学这个能有多难？我买了一条淡蓝色的披巾，上面缝着数百个金属亮片，然后我把披巾系在腰上。我走入第二排时，金属亮片欢快地互相碰撞，发出叮叮当当的声音。音乐响起，我扭动起来。看着老师的翘臀不停摇摆旋转，我心灰意懒，我的屁股永远也扭不成那样啊，给我一万年也做不到。我努力甩肩摆臀，结果引以为豪的淡蓝色披巾却缓缓地飘落在地板上。最后，我把披巾和瑜伽垫子都扔进了车子的后备箱。

学跳排舞17？如果舞步超过四步，我就该犯迷糊了。心肺锻炼课程？我的脸会涨得通红，还会上气不接下气。

经过这段时间的锻炼，我有没有练出结实的肌肉？答案是没有。如果我老往健身房跑，全身的肌肉就要抗议了，半夜里折腾得我辗转反侧，难以入眠。

体重也没有减下来。说实话，我还胖了将近两磅。

购物中心附近有一家叫“不再苗条”的商店，望着商店的玻璃窗，我发现自己真的没瘦下来。我的身影映在玻璃窗上。玻璃窗可不会骗人。“女人，无论你多么努力，”玻璃窗似乎在对我说，“你也不会恢复到40年前的样子了。现实点吧，睁大眼看看。头发也开始泛白了，鞋子也不合脚了，身体也发福了。还想跟20岁时一样？不可能了。”

一想到这个事实，快乐就像潮水般涌向我心里。我现在已步入人生的另一个阶段。我可以为了健康锻炼身体，但是青春已经一去不复返。即使我坚持节食，也不会拥有杂志嫩模那种纤瘦苗条的身材，最多是个骨瘦如柴的老太婆。

我？老太婆？嘿，我现在不就是嘛！一想到这，我不禁如释重负，微微一笑。我真想在人行道上就翩翩起舞，甚至快跑几步。

我终于可以自由自在地做自己，无忧无虑地做想做的事情，忘掉世俗的期望。你们肯定没有想到，我觉得自己已经是个了不起的老太婆了。一笑起来，眼睛旁边全是皱纹。我欢迎前行道路上的每个挑战。我大腿上的肉也够多了，孙子孙女枕着我的大腿一定很舒服。

63岁半时，虽然生日还没到，但我已下定决心：做回真我，活在当下，享受生活。毕竟，这才是生活！

——米歇尔·艾薇·戴维斯

Cartoon#4　Reprinted by permission of Off the Mark and Mark Parisi.?2001　Mark Parisi.

①马克·帕里西　②“我的裤子扣都扣不上了，你能帮我接受这个事实吗？”　③关于牛仔裤的治疗