跟疯狂说拜拜　Crazy No More

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

～Author Unknown

I was in my usual bind when New Year's Eve came around. It was time to assess the past year and, if there was some-thing I felt needed improvement, to resolve to do better.The familiar candidates came to mind：keep my office neat, stop procrastinating, and get organized.They were familiar because each year I made the same resolutions and each year I broke them.My office was still chaotic, I still waited until the last minute to do things, and organization has become a dirty word.

I remembered hearing somewhere that the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results-exactly what I have been doing.

My office was a testament to the craziness. There were piles of papers on my desk and more scattered on the rug.The club chair I placed in there for reading or for the convenience of an occasional guest was dysfunctional.It was more of a magazine rack, laden with so many back issues there was no room to actually sit in it to read.My friends had to sit on the floor.It wasn't pretty.

I assured myself I could-and would-finally clear it up……starting today. I would make my resolutions and stick to them！But first I needed to go to the market before it closed for the holiday.Then on to the cleaners.I promised I would meet my friend later in the day.And somewhere in there I had to make time to work on the writing assignment I had accepted and whose deadline was racing uncomfortably close.

By the time I returned home, I barely had time to put everything away before getting dressed for the evening. My husband and I were going out for dinner with friends.“Let's go，”he called.“Its getting late.”

I left a cascade of discarded outfits on my bed and rushed out to the car. We came home after midnight.I was too tired to put my clothes away so I pushed them onto the bench at the foot of the bed, tossed the bedspread over them, and crawled under the covers.I was asleep instantly.

In the morning, on the first day of the New Year, I knew I was already in trouble. I took out my journal and wrote the same three resolutions：I will clean my office, I will stop procrastinating, and I will get organized.As I looked around, though, I realized I had already broken all of them.I closed the journal.What was the use?I was overwhelmed by the resolutions.I would never follow them.It was too hard to change old habits.I took my cup of tea upstairs and apologized to my office.“I'm sorry，”I told it.“I love you but I just can't keep you neat.”

I resented the pattern I had created for myself yet couldn't see my way out of it. In my guilt-ridden wanderings around the room, I brushed against the chair and some of the magazines fell to the floor.Underneath, there was a book I had bought the year before.It was a how-to book on getting organized.I said I would get around to reading it, but not surprisingly, I put it off and eventually forgot about it.Now I suddenly could not wait to read it.It helped me to see that I didn't need to do it all immediately.I could tackle one small thing at a time.I could make a schedule and follow it.I could get organized！

I would start slowly. I could do one project each day instead of trying to do it all at once.I finally knew I could break the pattern.I ran for my journal and crossed out what I had written before.Then I wrote not three, not two, but one resolution.My only resolution this year is to be crazy no more.

～Ferida Wolff

新年决心就是一些东西年复一年，来来回回。

——佚名

每到年关，我都会左右犯难。岁末年初，辞旧迎新，正是总结本年生活的时候，如果觉得哪些方面不足的话，就该下一番决心改进。每年都是老三套：“保持办公室整洁，不再拖拖拉拉，做事有条理。”之所以说是老三套，是因为我每年都下同样的决心，每年都半途而废。办公室依旧一片狼藉，我依旧把事情拖拉到最后关头才开始动手，我对“有条有理”这个词讳莫如深。

不断重复地做同一件事，期待不同的结局，这就是我的真实写照。我记得在哪里听人说过，这就是“疯狂”的典型表现。

我的办公室就是疯狂再好不过的实例。办公桌上的文件一摞一摞，堆得到处都是。地板上也满是洒落的文件。我在办公室里特意放了一把扶手椅，想读书看报的时候坐坐，或者万一什么时候有客人来了也可以坐坐。但是，现在上面放满了过期报刊，彻底变成了杂志架，早就不能坐上去看看书了。现在要来个客人就只有坐地板的份儿。总之，办公室里一团糟，一点都不像样。

我安慰自己说最终会把一切都清理干净的。我暗示自己说：“我能的，我一定会的。就从今天开始做起！”我要立下决心，坚持到底！等等，我得在商场假期歇业前赶过去买点东西，然后还得去趟干洗店。我跟朋友说好了待会儿还得见面呢。我还得腾出点时间完成手头的书面任务，眼看马上就要交差，不能再拖了。

晚上一回到家，我还得匆匆忙忙换装，根本没时间收拾屋子。我和老公还有朋友要出去聚餐。老公又开始催了：“快点儿！咱们该迟到了。”

我把一堆换下的衣服顺手往床上一丢，就匆匆上车。等吃完饭回家，时间已经过午夜了。我一身疲惫，根本没精神去收拾衣服，只能把床上的衣服往床脚的长椅上一丢，再把床罩往上一撩，钻进被窝就睡着了。

第二天早上，也就是新年的第一天，我知道自己又陷入麻烦了。我拿出日志本，写下这三个老决心：打扫办公室，不再拖沓，还有做事要有条理。我环视四周，就知道自己依然违背了这些决心。我把日志本合上：“有什么用呢？”我被这些决心压得透不过气来，我从不践行它们。要改掉自己的陋习实在太难。我倒了杯茶走上楼，跟自己的办公室道歉：“对不起，我喜欢你，但是却不能把你收拾得干净整齐。”

我讨厌自己给自己设下的这种方式，但是却不知道出路何在。我满心自责，在屋里踱来踱去，结果碰到了椅子，几本杂志掉落了下来。这几本杂志下面放着一本我去年买的书。这本书讲的是如何让生活有条有理。我以前说过，要抽空好好读读这本书，但我随手丢到一边，到后来就忘得一干二净了。我经常做这种事，所以一点也不奇怪。可是现在，我却迫不及待地想读这本书。这本书让我明白，自己不需要一次性解决所有问题，我可以一次只解决一个小问题。我可以写下日程表，然后按日程行事。我不能再这么漫无条理地生活！

我要慢慢来。我不再想要“毕其功于一役”，我可以每天完成一个小计划。我终于知道自己可以打破陈规旧式。我连忙拿起日志本，把以前写得那些东西全部划掉，写下新的决心，这次我写下的决心不是三个，也不是两个，而只有一个。我今年唯一的一个决心就是：跟疯狂说拜拜。

——菲瑞达·沃尔夫