系统还原　System Recovery

Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.

～J.K.Rowling

I hate my computer.

It seems every time I resolve to clear the clutter from my life, my computer crashes. I pull the plug and let the system catnap, a tactic that usually works.

Not today.

I point the arrow to“Start Windows Normally”and cross my fingers. No such luck.I try“Last Known Good Configuration”.That's all I want, to get back to where I was before.

That doesn't work either, so I click“Safe Mode.”If I can't go back, that's the next best option, right?

Wrong. No matter what I do, I get the advanced options menu.

Desperate, I hit the F10 key.“Do you want to start System Restore?”the dialogue box reads.

With a sigh of relief, I click“yes”. A tiny“system restore”box pops up in the bottom left comer.That does not inspire confidence.I want to see“System Restore”splashed across my screen.I want to see the progress bar creeping to the right, like the mercury in a thermometer, apprising me of my status.

Instead, the screen hiccups, spits out line after line of hieroglyphics as if they were watermelon seeds, then blinks back to the menu.

Where is my“Bliss”Screensaver?The one with the rolling green meadow and the blue sky?

As I sit here staring at the screen, I realize this is oddly appropriate, since I've gotten stuck in general. The computer is just mirroring my life.

Haven't I been clearing out my life?I gave away most of the books that spilled from my bookcase and stood stacked on the floor. I threw out most of the papers that had multiplied over the years like mold.I donated household clutter to various charities.I even hauled all the stuff stored in the attic out to the curb.

There'd been only one thing left to deal with：the clutter on my computer.

But with the computer, you don't have to worry about being buried alive, like when you open your closet door.

Or do you?I'm beginning to wonder.

I download stuff, intending to get back to it“some day”and actually read it. It takes me whole days at a time to sort through the hundreds of saved articles every few months.

Which, of course, is enough to blow anyone's fuse.

So I guess it only stands to reason that habit would fry my computer's fuse too.

Apparently, it did.

Only one option remains；I know that. When I ventured up to the attic to clear out the broken camera equipment, the mildewed books, the broken projector and fading film, and the Easter baskets left over from my childhood, I found that a friendly family of mice, had taken up residence and had left, like the Easter Bunny，“treats”.

The internal computer mice are pooping all over my system. My only option is to vacuum.And that means throwing everything out frst, just like in the attic.

I hit F10 again to bring up the dialogue box for“System Recovery.”

Dialogue, my patootie. There is no dialogue.When your computer throws a temper tantrum, you're out of luck.

Isn't life the same way?

No, I'm in“Wild, Wild West”territory. Shoot first, cry later.

I hold my breath, and hit the“System Recovery”button.

“Are you sure you want to proceed?”the box asks, because System Recovery will erase all your files.

Everything will vanish with the click of a button. But I don't have a choice.

It's showdown time at the OK Corral. I can hear the ominous background music in my head.（I certainly can't hear it on the speakers.）Have I backed up everything critical?I feel like a mother sending her kid off to summer camp for two months, wondering if I forgot to pack underwear.

It's too late now anyway. The bus has left the terminal.But I'm a writer.There are my manuscripts, business records.All my stuff.

What stuff?I can't remember. Just stuff.Like packing peanuts.You don't really know what to do with them, you just save them.Because you might need them someday.

When you could just as easily use crumpled newspaper or plastic bags or popcorn.

I click“Yes.”

As the progress bar beeps, I imagine all my stuff-my life-fading into the abyss, sucked away into the vacuum of my computers space.

And yet, as the bar inches to the right, it reminds me just how far I've come these last couple of years. I've been pruning.I've been deleting bookmarks and files, backing things up, throwing out the clutter.I'd just gotten stuck, and the universe decided to help me along.

The progress bar reads 85%completed. I'd say that's about right.

Up pop the words，“System Recovery complete.”

The morning sun is bursting through my window. On impulse, I creep outside to check on a shrub I pruned-brutally-weeks ago.It had gotten so overwhelmingly large；I couldn't squeeze past it anymore.It jutted out across the path and blocked the gate.So, I'd had to cut it back to the main stem.To the core.

Where I'd cut, fresh green buds sprouted.

The same thing happened when I started saying“no”to tasks I really didn't want to do, or to people I really didn't want to be around. I'd pruned the negative energy surrounding my life.I just hadn't hit the delete button on my own negativity.

I think about the computer, filled with articles I'd never gotten around to reading. I'm relieved not to have to wade through those hundreds of files.If they had really been so important, wouldn't I have simply read them online in the first place?

That empty desktop doesn't look so ominous anymore. It is a tabula rasa, waiting for me to write upon it.Like life.

I resolve not to hold onto so much stuff-which is really just negative energy-in the coming year. And if I do, my computer will tell me when enough is enough and it's time for a purge.It will also remind me to embrace quiet time.Those fifteen minutes of“recovery”time forced me to just breathe.I resolve not to wait until my own operating system crashes to“Start System Recovery.”

Life is too short to be constantly playing“catch up”with the clutter. You don't need it.And maybe getting back to where you were before isn't the best option to choose.The clutter, be it the past, people, or objects-even emotions-that you've outgrown, stunts the new growth in your life.

The“Bliss”screensaver is back, reminding me to go outdoors and enjoy the sunshine and the freedom of summer.

And to start writing again. Writing something new.

I love my computer again. And my life.I'm moving forward.

～Donna L.Turello

永远不要相信那些有头有脑但是深藏不露的家伙。

——J. K.罗琳

我恨死自己的电脑了。

似乎每次想把生活中乱七八糟的东西清理一下时，电脑就会死机。我通常关掉电脑，过一会儿重启就可以了。

但今天却行不通。

我把鼠标箭头指向“正常启动模式”，然后点了一下手指。还是不行啊。我试了试“最后一次正确配置”，想回到上次打开时的状态。

这一招也不管用，我只好点“安全模式”了。如果不能回到上次打开的状态，那么只能用这个了。

还是不行。不管怎么试，总是进入高级模式菜单。

我有些绝望了，敲击了一下F10键。对话框弹了出来：“您想要系统还原吗？”

我松了口气，点击“是”。屏幕左下角弹出一个“系统还原”小对话框。这并没有点燃我的信心。我想看到“系统还原”的屏幕，希望能看到进度条就像温度计里的水银柱一样缓缓移动，从左走到右。这样的话我可以知道电脑的进展。

不幸的是，屏幕又抽风了，跳出一行行乱码，跟西瓜籽似的。然后，界面又返回到刚才的菜单。

我的桌面跑到哪里去了？那张蓝天绿地的桌面呢？

我坐在电脑屏幕前，觉得这简直是生活的翻版。我的生活经常乱糟糟的，电脑系统崩溃是我生活的真实写照。

我难道没有把生活中乱七八糟的东西清理干净吗？书橱里放不下的书堆得地板上到处都是，我把大部分多余的书都捐出去了。废纸成年累月堆积如山，我也把它们清理了。家里杂七杂八的东西也全都捐给慈善机构了。我甚至还把阁楼里积攒的杂物全扔到路边的垃圾堆里。

现在，唯一还没有清理的就是我电脑里杂乱的文件。

电脑里面的文件虽然很乱，但总没乱到和衣柜一样吧？每次打开柜门，里面掉出来的东西都能把自己埋得严严实实。

或许你也是？现在我却开始怀疑这一点了。

我从网上不断地下载各种文件，想等以后哪天有时间了再回头读读。每过几个月，我都得花上几天时间把保存下来的文件归类。

这种状况能让任何人火冒三丈。

所以我想，是不是我的电脑也受不了了，开始烦了？

显然，这次电脑确实发火了。

我知道现在只剩下一个办法了。有一次，我鼓足勇气走进阁楼，想彻底地清扫一下。发现那里除了有坏掉的摄像设备、发霉的图书、不能用的投影仪、褪色的胶卷，还有儿时留下的复活节小篮子。我还发现曾有一窝老鼠在篮子里安过家，就跟复活节的小兔子似的，它们还在篮子里留下了“小礼物”。

我的电脑里仿佛也有耗子捣乱似的，搞得系统无法运转。除了清空一切，我别无他法。同收拾阁楼一样，我得先把里面的东西清理干净才行。

我又按了一下F10，想弹出“系统还原”的对话框。

快弹出对话框啊，宝贝儿。对话框没出来。电脑要是发起脾气，你就准备倒霉吧。

难道生活不也是这样？

是的，我现在到了“蛮荒的大西部”。顾不得那么多，先开枪再说。

我屏住呼吸，点击“系统还原”。

弹出的对话框上写道：“您确定要继续吗？”因为一旦系统还原，我将失去电脑里的所有文件。

点一下鼠标，我电脑里面所有的文件可就全没了。但是，我别无选择。

到了西部影片里“摊牌”的时候了。我脑子里仿佛响起电影中的背景音乐（我的音响当然没有传出这个音乐声）。所有重要的东西都做了备份吗？我突然有一种不祥的感觉，这感觉就像刚送完孩子去参加夏令营的母亲，孩子要离开两个月，而车刚走，却突然想到自己可能忘了给孩子装内衣。

现在已经迟了。汽车已经驶离了公交站。但我是个作家。我的手稿、名片，还有其他全部东西都在电脑里存着呢。

存的都是什么东西呢？我记不起来了。就知道是些文件而已。就跟包装用的塑料碎屑似的。你并不清楚它们有什么。见到了就想攒起来，心想说不准将来哪一天会用得着。

其实到真正用得着的时候，我们随手拿点旧报纸、塑料袋或者爆米花也一样用。

我点击“是”。

进度条慢慢移动的时候，我开始想象，想象所有文件，甚至自己的生活都随着电脑清空而坠入深渊。

终于，随着进度条缓缓向右挪动，我有机会反思自己这几年都干了些什么。我一直都在忙着精简各种东西。我不断删除书签和文档，做文件备份，清理乱七八糟的文件。我深陷其中无法自拔，也许现在是上天在助我一臂之力吧。

进度条上显示已完成85%，一切顺利。

好了，屏幕上弹出文字：“系统还原已完成。”

清晨的阳光穿过窗户。我一时兴起，踱步走出房间看看几周前刚修剪过的灌木。这灌木丛当时疯长，我都挤不过去了。灌木滋长到小道上，堵住了大门。我只好把枝枝叶叶全都剪掉，只留下主干。

我剪掉的那些地方又重新长出嫩芽。

当我拒绝做不想做的事情，或者回避不想看到的人时，事情的进展往往也是这样。身边浪费精力的事情我能少就少，但这治标不治本。

我想起电脑里存储的文档。其实我永远不会回过头去读。现在不用再去翻腾这些浩如烟海的文档，心里反而有了一丝轻松。要是这些文档确实重要的话，我当初恐怕早就在线读完了吧？

空空的桌面不再像原来那样令人窒息。那台电脑就像一张白板，等着我去书写，就如同我的生活一样。

我决心下一年绝不再保留这么多文件，因为这完全是浪费精力。如果我再这么做，电脑就会提醒我，让我清理一下文件。它还让我学会静思。15分钟的系统还原让我安安静静地坐下来。我决不能等到自己生活的运转系统崩溃，再来一次“系统还原”。

人生苦短，我们不能总是“纠缠”于乱七八糟的杂事，而且也没这个必要。也许回到以前的状态并非最佳选择。生活中的杂事杂物妨碍着新生活的发展——不管这些杂事是往事、他人、物件乃至情绪皆是如此。

蓝天绿地的桌面又回来了，好像在提醒我到户外走走，享受和煦的阳光和夏日的自在。

这桌面也在提醒我重新开始写作，写一些新东西。

我又开始喜欢自己的电脑，开始热爱生活。我重新上路，继续前行。

——唐娜·L.图雷罗

Cartoon#1　Reprinted by permission of Off the Mark and Mark Parisi.?2001　Mark Parisi.

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