决心的演化　Resolution Evolution

Every day may not be good, hut there's something good in every day.

～Author Unknown

New Year's resolutions-I've made them, broken them, and returned to try again. Whether it was losing weight, eating healthier, or not biting my fingernails, each new resolution began with great determination, only to fade as the days and weeks of the New Year passed.

Last December, I decided to focus on something very different. Through the process, I gained a unique perspective on what matters most in my life and a simple tool that can lead me to greater happiness.

I am the mother of three adult children with special needs, who are still living with us. I have also recently been diagnosed with a neurological disorder that affects my ability to do many of the things that I have enjoyed over the years.It is very easy to become mired in discouragement.I hate to admit it, but I have held several“pity parties”and sadly invited many family members and friends to attend.That is where I found myself last year at resolution-making time.I knew that I needed to do something different.

I started reflecting about the time when my children were young. During those years, my husband and I consciously made a point of remembering what we called“golden moments”.The day my son finally learned to tie his shoes, at seventeen, was one of those times.It was definitely a golden moment.During my children's youth, I held tight to the memory of special times, successes, and joys.I tucked them away in my mind to be pulled out later during moments of discouragement, when things were not going well.

So as the New Year began, I resolved to once again consciously look each day for golden moments, for special blessings, for everyday occurrences that led me to a sense of gratitude and wonder. The marvelous thing was they were everywhere！

One day as I was out walking downtown, I became discouraged about my difficulties with walking and my need to use a cane. As I was grumbling to myself, I looked across the street and saw a man in a wheelchair with no legs.This may seem like an overused cliche, but it reinforced for me the fact that perspective plays a pivotal role in my attitude and ability to face adversity.

When I received invitations to friends, children's college graduations, weddings, and baby showers, I felt sad that my children might not experience those same things. But then I reflected that they were all good and caring people who brought great joy to my days.Our life wasn't bad, it was just different.

As time went by, I realized more and more that it was the simple things that were making the biggest difference for me. I found myself pausing to enjoy a beautiful sunset or a mother bird building a nest outside my living room window.I saw a person's kindness as a dear gift.

I guess you could say that I made it my resolution to play the“Glad Game”. You know the one, from the movie Pollyanna；where even in the most difficult situations, Pollyanna finds something to be glad about.There are probably many people who would scoff and declare this a saccharine-coated way of dealing with life.My answer to them would be，“Why not?Why in this world of trouble and heartache should I not want to consciously choose to seek a better vision, a more grateful heart?”

Am I good at it all the time?Definitely not！I still get discouraged from time to time. I still find the negative creeping back.But the wonderful thing about this type of resolution is that even when I falter or slip a little, I can easily pick it back up again and go forward.All it takes is pausing for a moment to look around me and recognize the simple, pure pleasures and blessings in each day.

～Jeannie Lancaster

不是每一天都尽如人意，但是每天总有一点值得高兴的事。

——佚名

我的新年决心可谓反复不定。我下过新年决心，放弃过，又重新尝试过，不管是瘦身、健康饮食还是不再咬指甲，开始实践种种新决心时，无不信誓旦旦。但是，新年后过不了多少日子，就没有了坚持下去的意志。

去年12月，我决心关注一些非同寻常的事情。在这个过程中，我用独特的视角发现了生活中最有意义的事情，用这种简单的方法得到了许多快乐。

我的三个孩子都已成年。因为他们是残疾人，需要特殊照顾，所以一直和我们生活在一起。我最近也被确诊患有精神紊乱，因而许多以前很喜欢做的事情现在都做不了了。我很容易陷入失望的深渊。虽然不好意思承认，但是我确实召开了几次“悲伤晚会”，邀请了很多亲朋好友过来，向他们大倒苦水。这些就是我去年下新年决心时的情况。我知道自己需要做点不一样的事情了。

我开始回忆孩子小时候的种种情景。在那些年里，我和老公都有意识地记下欢快的时光，我们称之为“金色时刻”。其中就包括儿子17岁学会系鞋带的那天。那天确实是个“金色时刻”。在孩子们的青春时期，我牢记每一个特殊时刻，无论是成功还是喜悦。我把这些快乐时光储存在脑海中，每当失落和不如意的时候，我就会想起这些快乐的时光。

眼看新年将至，我决心从头再来。我有意识地在每个日子里，记下生活中的“金色时刻”，也就是那些特殊的幸福时刻，和让我感动和惊奇的日常小事。我惊奇地发现，原来这样的时刻到处都是。

有一天，我在市中心漫步。由于行动不便，所以我需要拄着拐杖行走，内心不禁感到沮丧失落。就在我自怨自艾的时候，看见马路对面有人坐在轮椅上，没有双腿。听起来可能有点老生常谈，但是这让我更加确信，看待事物的角度决定我们的态度和应对困难的能力。

当我受邀参加朋友子女的大学毕业晚会、婚礼和分娩送礼会的时候，因为想到自己的孩子可能永远无法体验到这些经历，心里感到失落。但是，后来我就觉得他们都心地善良、细心体贴，给我的生活带来了无穷快乐。我们的生活只是与别人不同而已，并没有好坏之分。

随着时间的推移，我渐渐明白往往是生活中一些不经意间的小事，给我带来的改变是最大的。我开始驻足欣赏美丽的日落，观看燕子妈妈在客厅窗户外搭窝。人们的热心肠是生活赐予的宝贵礼物。

我猜想你们可能会觉得，我这是在发扬“阿Q精神”3。大家都知道阿Q这个人，这是鲁迅先生的小说《阿Q正传》里面的人物。就是生活再不幸、再痛苦的时候，阿Q也能找到乐子。有的人可能会嗤之以鼻，说这是在自我麻痹，自欺欺人。对此我的解释是：“为什么不自作多情点呢？大千世界，苦海无边，我为什么不能有意识地寻找生活中美好的一面呢？为什么不能用更加感激的心态来看待生活呢？”

我是不是任何时候都很“阿Q”呢？当然不是了！我仍会时不时感到沮丧失落，消极情绪仍然会时不时缠上我。但是，这种方法的一大好处就是，即使我迟疑了，一时撑不住，我仍可以重拾阿Q精神，继续前进。我所要做的只是休息片刻，环视四周，找寻每个日子里简单纯粹的快乐和幸福。

——简妮·兰开斯特