A typical Western meal may include several courses which are served in the order of appetizer (a small amount of food or a drink that you have before a meal), soup/salad, main course and dessert. This picture shows what the table setting for a Western meal is usually like. In most situations, use cutlery on the outside first and work your way inward with each new course that is served.

Table manners are important in both professional and social situations, so it’s a good idea to know some basics. There may be some slight variations, depending on your region and what is locally acceptable, so if you are at a dinner party, pay attention to the host/hostess and take cues from them.

What should be done before the dinner?

If you are invited to have dinner with someone, it is always a good idea to respond, even if an RSVP is not requested. This helps with planning.

Should we bring gifts?

When you are dining at the home of a friend, it is a good idea to bring a host/hostess a gift. Don’t expect your gift to be used during the meal. Most dinner parties have carefully planned menu items, and your gift may not go with the meal.

Traditionally, seating order is strictly kept in China. Is it true in Western countries?

Some dinner parties are formal and have place cards where the host/hostess wants you to sit. If not, ask if there are seating preferences. Wait until the host/hostess sits before you do. If the host/hostess offers a toast, lift your glass. It is not necessary to “clink” someone else’s glass.

When can we eat?

If you are eating out, you should wait until all the members of your group have been served before picking up your fork. At a private dinner, observe the host/hostess and pick up your fork when he/she does. However, if you are at a buffet, you may start when there are others seated at your table.

For dinners where food is served at the table, how should the dishes be passed?

They are passed in a counter-clockwise flow. Never reach across the table for anything. Instead, ask that condiments be passed from the person closest to the item. Salt and pepper should be passed together. Always use serving utensils and not your own to lift food from the serving dish.

What should be done after the dinner?

Always send the host/hostess a thank-you note or card in the mail, and don’t wait more than a day or two after the event.

Here are some essential dining etiquette rules that you should follow:

Turn off your cell phone before sitting down. It is rude to talk on your phone or text while in the company of others.

Never talk when you have food in your mouth. That’s just gross. Even if someone asks you a question, wait until you swallow before answering.

Taste your food before you add salt, pepper, or other seasonings. Doing otherwise may be insulting to the host/hostess.

Don’t cut all your food before you begin eating. Cut one or two bites at a time. 

Never blow on your food. If it is hot, wait a few minutes for it to cool off. Scoop your soup away from you.

Some foods are meant to be eaten with your fingers. Follow the lead of the host/hostess.

Break your bread into bite-sized pieces and butter only one bite at a time.

Compliment the host/hostess if you like the food, but don’t voice your opinion if you don’t.

Eat slowly and pace yourself to finish at the same approximate time as the host/hostess.

Avoid burping or making other rude sounds at the table.

When you finish eating, leave your utensils on your plate or in your bowl.

Never use a toothpick or dental floss at the table.

When you sit down to a meal with family or friends, you probably expect to have a pleasant conversation that enhances the experience. Then how can we keep a pleasant dinner table conversation? Keep the following tips in mind.

Talk about pleasant topics:

Food – It is always a good idea to discuss what you like about the food you are eating. The host or hostess will be flattered. You might even want to add an anecdote about similar food or ask for the recipe.

Fashion – A nice compliment will be something pleasant to say about someone’s outfit, jewelry, or hairstyle.

Music – You can share thoughts about your favorite entertainers of composers and tell about a concert or symphony that you particularly enjoyed.

Avoid unpleasant topics:

Medical conditions – Health problems, particularly if they involve body fluids, will destroy many people’s appetites at the mere mention of them.

People’s age – Although you may be proud to have lived to the ripe old age you are, the person sitting across the table might be depressed about aging.  

Politics – Unless the dinner is being held in honor of a political candidate or is happening in the midst of a political convention, leave all talk of politics for later.

Religion – Never offend anyone of a different religion. If the host offers a prayer of blessing before the meal, be respectful and follow his or her lead.

Work in pairs and exchange what you know about the dining etiquette in your hometown or families. 

1) A round dining table is more popular in China than a rectangular or square one. The guest of honor is always seated to the right of the host; the next in line will sit on his left.

2) Dining may only begin once the host and all his guests are seated. The host should actively take care of all his guests, inviting them to enjoy their meal.

3) Apart from soup, dishes are mostly eaten with chopsticks.

4) A toast to others is a characteristic Chinese dining etiquette.