Swimming in Socks

                                            Joe Posnanski

 

 1.  When the swim season began,my 11-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, and I cut a deal. Shewould go to practice three times a week and try really hard and have a lot offun, and I wouldn’t make her compete inthe swim meets.

 2. Elizabeth does not like swimmeets. She gets horribly nervous but not because she wants to win. Shedoesn’t want to win. She doesn’t expect to win. She doesn’t care if shewins.

 3. Nerves stem from thepossibility that she will do something horribly wrong and let everyonedown. On the day of a meet, she would be scared all day. Shewould be scared as the meet began and scared throughout the meet.

 4. Afterward, when her mother and Iasked, “Did you have a good time?” she would say, no, she did not.

 5.  Elizabeth started to talkabout quitting swimming, which broke my heart because sheloves swimming. So I came up with the deal, and shereadily agreed.

 6. Recently, Elizabeth’s teamannounced a special swim night: Members 11 and older would swim a timed 50meters in all four strokes and then have pizza. It wasn’texactly a meet, because it would involve only team members. That was myview. Elizabeth countered that it absolutely was a meetbecause there would be races and timers and so on. We needed a good contract lawyer. Nonewas available. I told Elizabeth I really wanted her to go. She foughtback furiously but finally agreed.

 7.  When the day of the specialswim night arrived, Elizabeth was nervous. When we got to the pool, shebecame even more nervous. She was probably the youngest person there andshorter by at least a foot than most of the other kids. She panicked. Shespent all her time by my side, shivering.

 8. Her first race was the 50-meterfreestyle. For the first time in competition, she used a swim turn.Thatwas really cool to watch, and she flipped very well. Butshe missed the wall. She had to go back and touch the wall, so that hurther time.

 9.  She swam her backstroke andbreaststroke without incident. It wasn’t fun for her; I could see that.Theolder kids didn’t really notice her. She didn’t have any chance to win amedal. You always hear in sports that the butterflies go away after awhile, but Elizabeth’s butterflies just kept flapping.

 10.  Then it was time for theT-shirt relay, which works like this: One person from each relay team puts on aT-shirt, a pair of socks, and a swim cap; swims 50 meters; and gets out of thepool. She takes off the clothes and puts them on the next person, who thenswims 50 meters. This continues until everyone on the team has completed alap.

 11.  For some unknown reason,Elizabeth’s relay team chose her to swim the anchor leg. They worked out a Cirquedu Soleil move to get the T-shirt off one swimmer and onto the next one. Itdidn’t always work, but it was always entertaining. By thelast leg, Elizabeth’s team had built up a moderate lead. Thenit was Elizabeth’s turn to swim.

 12. It was rather extraordinary towatch the team try to dress her in socks and a T-shirt. By that point, alltactics were out the window; everyone was pulling and yanking toget her inside the shirt and to get those socks on. And then she was off. Sheseemed to swim faster in the T-shirt and socks than she did when she wasn’twearing them.

 13.  Approaching the halfwaymark, she was still in the lead. Then somebody noticed thatone of Elizabeth’s socks had fallen off and was floating in the pool. “Shehas to get that sock on before the end of the race,” a swimming official (ormaybe it was just some guy) told Elizabeth’s team, “or you will bedisqualified.”

 14.  Everybody on her teamstarted screaming, “Elizabeth! Elizabeth! Stop! Get the sock!” But she couldn’thear them. One of her teammates jumped in the water, grabbed the sock, andthrew it at Elizabeth. She still didn’t notice. She was inthe zone. She made the turn and started her last 25 meters.

 15. “Elizabeth!” They yelled, evenlouder. She still didn’t hear them. (As her father, I couldrelate.)Meanwhile, a girl in lane two was gaining on Elizabeth. Itwas time for desperate measures. A girl on my daughter’steam jumped in the pool, grabbed the sock, and swam after Elizabeth. Shegrabbed Elizabeth’s foot. “You have to put the sock on,” the girlscreamed. Elizabeth treaded water while her teammate put on the sock.

 16.  By now, the girl in lanetwo was about to pass Elizabeth. With the sock finally on, Elizabethswam her heart out for the last 15 meters. It was close. ButElizabeth beat the other girl to the wall for the victory.

 17.  There was much celebration andjoy. Hugs. High fives. Cheers. And, for a few minutes, Elizabeth wasthe hero. It was completely unexpected and completely ridiculous andcompletely pointless. But she was the hero.

 18. On the ride home, she relived hermoment of glory again and again. She talked about how scared she waswhen someone grabbed her foot and how funny it was when she was sloshing to thefinish and how great the night was. She told me that if the T-shirtrelay was an Olympic event — and she is quite sure it should be — her teamwould win the gold medal. I told her that in my professional opinion, shewas absolutely right.

译文：

             穿着袜子游泳

              乔•伯斯南斯基

1. 当游泳赛季开始后，我11岁的女儿，伊丽莎白，和我达成一个约定。 她会每周去练习游泳三次，刻苦练习，并乐在其中，而我不会逼迫她去参加游泳比赛。

2.伊丽莎白不喜欢游泳比赛。 她会非常紧张，这倒不是因为她想赢。 她甚至都不想赢，她也不期望自己会赢，而且也不关心自己是否会赢。

3.她紧张是担心她会犯大错，让大家失望。 比赛日，她一整天都会很紧张。在比赛前，她会紧张，比赛时，也会紧张。

4. 赛后，她妈妈和我问她，“比赛时开心吗？”她会说，“不开心。”

5. 伊丽莎白开始说想要放弃游泳，这让我感到伤心，因为她喜欢游泳。 所以，我就提出这个“交易”，她爽快地答应了。

6. 最近，伊丽莎白所在的游泳队宣布要举办一个特别游泳之夜：11岁及以上的队员得用四种泳姿各计时游完50米，然后可以吃披萨。 这不是一场真正的比赛，因为只有队员参加。 这是我的观点，但伊丽莎白反驳说，这完全是一场比赛，因为有竞赛，有计时器等等。 我们需要一个优秀的契约律师，但找不到这样的人。 我告诉伊丽莎白我很希望她参加，她气冲冲地顶了回来，但最终还是同意了。

7. 特别游泳之夜的当天，伊丽莎白非常紧张。 我们来到泳池，她更紧张了。 她可能是队里年纪最小的，比大多数其他孩子至少矮了一英尺。 她有些恐慌，一直呆在我身边，瑟瑟发抖。

8. 她的第一个比赛项目是50米自由泳。 在比赛中，她第一次使用了转身动作。看她游泳真是太棒了！她翻转得非常好，但是没触碰到池壁，所以她又得游回去触碰池壁，这样一来耽搁了时间。

9.她在仰泳和蛙泳中都没有出现意外。 我看得出来，她不觉得这有意思。 年龄稍大的孩子根本没注意到她，她也根本没有机会赢得奖牌。 在体育运动中，你经常会听人说，比赛开始时总会感到紧张，但一会儿后就会恢复常态，但伊利莎白的紧张心理就是挥之不去。 

10. 到T恤接力赛的时间了，比赛规则是这样的：每个接力队中的一人穿上一件T恤和一双袜子，戴上泳帽，游50米，上岸。 她然后脱下衣服，把它们穿到另外一个人身上，这个人接着游50米。 这样不断交换，直到每个队员都完成一趟。

11. 不知为何，伊丽莎白的接力队让她游最后一程。 她们想用太阳马戏团那样的方式脱下T恤，套在下一个队员身上。 这种方法并不总是奏效，但很有趣。到最后一程时，伊丽莎白那一队稍有领先优势。 接下来就是伊丽莎白上场了。

12. 看队友们给她穿上袜子和T恤还是挺特别的。 那时候，所有的技巧都派不上用场了；每个人都在拉扯着T恤，让她套进去，并穿上袜子。 她下水了。 看上去好像她穿着T恤和袜子游泳比不穿游得更快。

13.接近中途时，她仍处于领先位置。 这时有人注意到，伊丽莎白的一只袜子掉了，飘在水面上。 一个游泳裁判（也可能只是某个观众）告诉伊丽莎白那一队，“她得在比赛结束前穿上那只袜子，不然你们就要被取消资格。”

14. 每个队员开始叫喊“伊丽莎白！伊丽莎白！停下！穿上那只袜子！”但她听不见。 她的一个队友跳进水里，抓起那只袜子，扔给了她。 她仍然没注意到。 她全神贯注，转身，开始了最后25米的冲刺。

15.  “伊丽莎白！”叫声更大了。 她仍然没听见。 （作为她的父亲，我这么觉得） 此时，第二泳道的一个女孩正逐渐赶上伊丽莎白。 没办法了，伊丽莎白那一队中的一个女孩跳进泳池，抓起袜子，游向她。 她抓着伊丽莎白的脚，叫着，“你得穿上袜子。” 她队友给她穿袜子的时候，伊丽莎白踩着水。

16. 现在，第二泳道的女孩就要超过伊丽莎白了。 伊丽莎白在穿好袜子后，拼尽全力开始最后15米的冲刺。 她们相当接近，但伊丽莎白先于另一个女孩触壁，赢得了比赛。 

17. 

大家开始庆祝，拥抱，击掌，欢呼。 有那么一会，伊丽莎白就是英雄。 这完全出乎意料，不可思议，毫无必要解释。但她就是英雄。 

18.在坐车回家的路上，她一遍又一遍地回味着她的辉煌时刻。 她谈论着当有人抓她脚的时候，她有多害怕，当她扑向终点时，又多有趣，以及今晚是多么美好。 她告诉我，如果这场T恤接力赛是奥林匹克的比赛项目——她十分确信它应该是——她们队就赢得金牌了。 我告诉她，从我的专业角度看，她绝对是对的。