What's the Matter with the Gift?
Raymonde Carroll,who was an American lady, tells one such experience that happened between her and a woman who had been an important helper in her efforts to adjust to life in Nukualofa(努库阿洛法).
Returning to Nukualofa from France I gave my neighbor a gift,a beautiful piece of cloth of a type that one could not find there.This neighbor was an old woman,well known for her knowledge of traditional tales and native medicine. She had been a great help to me and I wanted to return her kindness.To me there was nothing surprising about my action; all kinds of gifts are exchanged almost every day.I will never forget,however, the way in which my gift was received on this occasion.The woman threw my beautiful piece of fabric aside and then began to literally shout at me for having given it to her.She yelled things such as, "Why had I given her this? Because she had brought me some tomatoes?"She continued to recite a long list of what she had done for me and to wonder why I had given her this fabric she did not need.
l went back to the house shaken and close to tears.A present that l had taken such care in choosing and brought from so far was just thrown aside. I wondered what I had done.Shortly thereafter I saw the woman's daughter. She had seen the fabric at her mother's house and she asked if her mother had shouted me out. Before I replied she told me not to worry if she had, that her mother liked it very much and she was sure to wear it to church the following Sunday as proof.Relieved, but still hurt and uncertain of our relationship, I wondered why she had screamed at me.
礼物怎么了?
雷蒙德·卡罗尔(Raymonde Carroll)是一位美国女士,她告诉了她和一位女性之间发生的一次这样的经历,这位女性一直是她努力适应努库阿洛法生活的重要助手(努库阿洛法).
从法国回到努库阿洛法时,我送给邻居一份礼物,一块漂亮的布,在那里找不到。这位邻居是一位老妇人,以其对传统故事和本土医学的了解而闻名。她对我帮助很大,我想报答她的好意。对我来说,我的行为一点也不奇怪;几乎每天都会交换各种各样的礼物。然而,我永远不会忘记在这个场合收到礼物的方式。那个女人把我那块漂亮的布料扔到一边,然后开始对我大喊大叫,因为我把它给了她。她大声喊道:“我为什么给她这个?因为她给我带了一些西红柿?”她继续背诵她为我所做的一长串事情,并想知道我为什么给她的是她不需要的布料。
我回到家时浑身发抖,几乎要哭了。我精心挑选的礼物被扔到了一边。我想知道我做了什么。不久之后,我见到了那个女人的女儿。她在她妈妈家看到了布料,她问她妈妈是不是喊我出去了。在我回答之前,她告诉我,如果她有,不要担心,她妈妈非常喜欢它,她一定会在下个星期天穿着它去教堂做证明。我松了一口气,但仍然很受伤,对我们的关系也不确定,我想知道她为什么对我大喊大叫。
Are Perceptions Always Right?
The following conversation is designed to reinforce an understanding of the process of perception. Read the conversation carefully and then answer the questions.
Pat: All I had to do was to spend two seconds with him to know he's an idiot. I said I went to Graceland and he asked what that was. Can you believe it? Graceland! The more I got to know him, the more I realize how stupid he was.
Chris: Yeah, I know what you mean. Akira sure is an idiot. After all, he is a jock
Pat: Jocks! The worst. And I bet I can guess who he goes out with. I'll bet it's Michiko.
Chris: Why do you say that?
Pat: Well, I figure that the two people I dislike would like each other. And I figure you must dislike them too.
Chris: That's for sure.
Pat: By the way, have you ever met Marie? She's a computer science maior so you know she's bright. And attractive-really attractive.
Chris: Yes, I went out ofmy way to meet her, because she sounded like she'd be a nice person to know.
Pat: You're right. I knew she'd be nice as soon as I saw her.
Chris: We talked a lot at yesterday's meeting. We had a really good time. She is really nice.
Pat: Whenever I think of Marie, I think of the time she helped that homeless man. There was this homeless guy-real dirty-and he fell, running across the street, Well, Marie ran right into the street and picked this guy up and practically carried him to the other side.
Chris: And you know what I think of when I think of Michiko? The time she refused to visit her grandmother in the hospital. Remember? She said she had too many other things to do.
Pat: I remember that-a real selfish egomaniac
(Akira and Michiko are Japanese overseas students in the USA.)
Answer the following questions:
(1)How does the process of perception work in this conversation?
(2) What are the barriers to accurate perception in intercultural communication shown in this conversation?
(3) What kinds of skills are needed to improve one's perceptual skills in intercultural communication or to avoid the barriers mentioned above?