1     Two months ago I turned 51. That feels pretty old to me. But at least I’m a bit more experienced and, I hope, a little wiser(更聪明) than I was at 21. With that in mind, here are six stupid things I have done that I never want to do again. Maybe you’ve done some of them too. But I’ll bet we’d both be happier if we don’t ever again…

2    1. Compare. Ever heard the saying “Compare and despair(绝望)”? Comparing yourself to someone else usually means that you imagine the other person is better off, more satisfied — in a word, happier.

3     But here’s the problem: We end up (以…终结) comparing what we know about our life, which is a mixed bag of good and bad, with a fantasy of someone else’s supposedly(推测性地) “perfect” life. Why do we do this? Because we know all about our own problems, but other people’s problems are harder to see. As a result, our real life always loses out. That leads to despair. Besides(再说), there’s probably someone comparing his or her life to your supposedly perfect one — which shows you how ridiculous(可笑的) it all is.

4     2. “Should” on yourself. It’s easy to imagine yourself making a choice that would have taken you to a different place in your life. I should have married this person; I should have taken that job; I should have moved. This is called “shoulding all over yourself.” (Say it aloud(大声地) and the negative meaning becomes clearer.) Reflecting on our choices is an important way to grow, but you cannot live your real life if you’re busy living in your “should have” life.

5      3. Get people to like you. I spent all of my teens, most of my 20s, a great deal of my 30s and too much of my 40s trying to get people to like me. But forcing people’s affection(喜爱) never works. Besides, it takes too much energy to tailor yourself to what you think people will like. Your true friends like you already. Be open to change and growth(成长) by all means, but treasure(珍惜) friends who love you for who you are.

6      4. Be a jerk. You’re tired. You’re rushed. You’ve got a cold. You’re late. You’re angry about something your boss said. Yes, you are miserable. That doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk to everyone else. It really doesn’t. Sure, share your frustrations and struggles with close friends, but don’t make everyone else’s life more miserable by passing on your misery(痛苦). Once I joked to a friend, “Boy, my life is such a cross!” “Yes,” he said, “but for you or others?”

7      5. Make fun of people. Nothing brings me lower than a few minutes of mocking(嘲讽) another person. (Particularly if the person is not present.) But the snappy(精炼的) putdown(奚落语) has a high value in our culture, and famous snubs(怠慢语) are often repeated approvingly(赞许地). Much of our current political climate consists in politicians mocking their opponents(对手). (That’s been a big help, hasn’t it?) Malicious(恶意的) speech is an easy way to wound. If you feel powerless(无力的) to resist(抗拒) badmouthing(说…坏话) someone, ask yourself three questions: Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?

8      6. Be hard on yourself. One of my friends used to say, “Be easy with yourself, Jim.” If you’re reading this list and taking it at all seriously, you may be beating yourself up about stupid things that you’ve done in the past. But you also want to change yourself, which is good. So be careful to “trust in the slow work of God.” If you ever get discouraged about your rate of change, just think about trees — yes, trees. In the summer they’re green. In the fall they’re red. And no one sees them change.

(621words)

1. With that in mind, here are six stupid things I have done that I never want to do again.

基于这一想法，以下列出我做过但永远也不想再做的6件蠢事。

本句中 six stupid things 后面有两个定语从句：I have done 和 that I never want to do again。

2. We end up comparing what we know about our life, which is a mixed bag of good and bad, with a fantasy of someone else’s supposedly “perfect” life.

我们自己的生活是有好有坏的，到头来我们却将自己所知的这种生活跟基于推测而幻想出来的别人的“完美”生活作比较。

英语短语 end up doing sth. 的意思是“最终以…而终结或收场”。句中使用了 compare A with B 这个结构，即将 what we know about our life 和 a fantasy of someone else’s supposedly “perfect” life 作了比较。which is a mixed bag 是非限制性定语从句，修饰 our life。

3. It’s easy to imagine yourself making a choice that would have taken you to a different place in your life.

人们很容易想象自己做出某种可能改变人生境遇的抉择。

would have taken 是虚拟语气，表示与事实不符的情况。该句子后面的 I should have married this person; I should have taken that job; I should have moved 中也使用了虚拟语气。

4. But you also want to change yourself, which is good.

但是你也想改变自己，这是好的。

which is good 是非限制性定语从句，从句的主语 which 指前面说的 you also want to change yourself 这件事。