John Rogers, an American businessman based in Chicago, likes to tell the story of visiting his company’s Chinese suppliers. “The previous year my company had proudly sent all its colleagues around the world some beautiful desk clocks. Each clock had the company name on it. But when I arrived in Shanghai I found my Chinese colleagues were upset with the gift. In Chinese culture it is very wrong to give a clock as a gift. The reason is that the phrase ‘give a clock’ in Chinese sounds like the phrase for ‘make a funeral arrangement’ (meaning death). It was a symbol of the end of our relationship.”

This tale shows how important it is today to understand correct gift-giving behaviour around the world. “Gifts are an important part of developing strong relationships with clients,” says Rogers. Business often depends on individual relationships built on trust and a gift symbolizes this. But giving the wrong gift can make relations worse.

This tale shows how important it is today to understand correct gift-giving behaviour around the world. “Gifts are an important part of developing strong relationships with clients,” says Rogers. Business often depends on individual relationships built on trust and a gift symbolizes this. But giving the wrong gift can make relations worse.

Some examples of inappropriate gifts include:

Wine, whisky or other liquor to Muslims. This is offensive as they are prohibited from drinking alcohol by their religion.

Gifts showing the number four or a gift of four items of something are unlucky in Japanese, Korean and Chinese cultures. Also the number 13 is best avoided in East Asia.

Knives and scissors. In Latin America and Asia these indicate cutting a relationship. You give a knife to show you are no longer friends.

Romantic gifts such as flowers may also send wrong messages and should be avoided in Asia. Also certain flowers have special meanings. For example, in Europe chrysanthemums are only given at funerals. In some countries it is usual to give an even number of flowers but in others you must give an odd number.

Leather goods to an Indian person, as many Indians are Hindus — they follow a religion that honours cows. 

Handkerchiefs are fine in some places, such as Japan, but they may symbolize sadness or death in other countries.

Of course, not all people would be offended by these gifts. Younger people may not believe in superstitions and feel happy to accept a knife or clock if they felt the gift was meant sincerely. However, they would be unlikely themselves to give such gifts to older people. 

So what is an appropriate and thoughtful gift? Rogers says that anything from your home country that is difficult to get elsewhere would be good. For example, Canadian maple syrup, or a fancy packet of Hawaiian pineapples would be appreciated. Once you have got to know someone try to give them a present to suit their personal interests as well. If your business partner enjoys football, for example, why not get him a shirt of his favourite team? But remember gifts of clothing from a man to a woman may seem too intimate and might suggest an inappropriate relationship. 

When to give the gift also depends on your culture. Westerners usually give gifts when they meet each other but in Eastern cultures it is more usual to give gifts when you leave. There may also be special holiday times when gift-giving is expected. Christmas is a time for gift-giving in Christian countries and Muslim people exchange cards during the festival at the end of Ramadan, the holy month.

Even when a Western businessman has understood all these rules he may still make a mistake by not presenting the gift appropriately. John Rogers says, “I remember a young colleague of mine presented a beautiful and expensive tie to his Korean client. The tie was in a carrier bag from the airport duty free shop. It was not wrapped in paper or anything. The Korean businessman did not look too pleased.” 

All gifts should be wrapped. In some cultures the wrapping paper has special meanings. For example, the Chinese feel red is lucky. Especially at New Year the Chinese like to give money in red envelopes called “hong bao”, and presents with a red pattern are usual. White paper wrapping should be avoided as the colour white is associated with funerals in China. In Latin America people tend to like bright colours but most Europeans prefer less bright shades.

The wrapped gift should also be presented correctly. The gift should be given with both hands. In Japan and some other countries giving the gift with one hand is considered rude. In Arabic countries giving anything with the left hand is considered insulting.

Another mistake Westerners often make is to open the gift immediately. Rogers remembers he himself made such an error the first time he visited Taiwan. “I was at a dinner party and the host gave me a small gift. I opened it at once and found a beautiful watch. I was very pleased and showed the other guests what I had received. They all looked at me strangely and tried to change the topic of conversation. The host looked uncomfortable when I thanked him for the watch.”

Westerners usually open gifts immediately and thank the giver but in Asia it is more usual to open the gift later in private. This is to protect the gift-giver from any embarrassment if the gift is discovered to be inappropriate in any way. 

Additionally in Asia it is considered polite to refuse the gift at the beginning and for the gift-giver to have to insist that the other person accepts it. “I have had customers refuse to take my gifts three or four times,” says John Rogers. “This shows modesty. They do not want to appear greedy by taking my gift immediately.”

Gift-giving customs vary from country to country so it is difficult to be correct in every situation. But if you learn the general rules and do a bit of research on the customs of the places you will visit you will not go too far wrong. As John Rogers says, “I remember the country’s religious customs, I avoid giving things that are not appropriate or considered strange, and I choose the wrapping paper carefully. This shows people I have thought about the gift and they always seem to appreciate the effort I have made.” 

驻芝加哥的美国商人约翰·罗杰斯对于拜访公司的中国供应商一事津津乐道。“去年，我们公司给全世界的同行们赠送了一些漂亮的台式钟，每个钟上都有公司的名字。对于此举，公司非常得意。但我到上海时却发现中国同行们对这件礼物颇感不快。在中国文化里，把钟作为礼物馈赠是极为不妥的。原因是‘送钟’这个词和‘送终’(即死亡)在汉语里发音相同。它象征着双方关系的终止。”

这个故事说明，了解世界各地正确的馈赠行为在今天是多么重要。罗杰斯说：“礼物是与客户建立牢固关系的重要手段。”商业常常取决于个人关系，而个人关系则建立在信任和象征信任的一件礼物之上。不恰当的礼物会使关系恶化。

以下各例均属于不恰当的礼物:

将葡萄酒、威士忌或其他酒精饮料送给穆斯林。由于其宗教禁止饮用含酒精的饮料，给穆斯林送这些礼物是非常无礼的。

在日本、韩国和中国文化里，带有4或数量为4的物品是不吉利的。另外，13这个数字在东亚也最好避免。

刀和剪。在拉丁美洲和亚洲，刀、剪意味着断绝关系。送刀即表示大家已不再是朋友了。

在亚洲，像花这种浪漫的礼物也可能传递错误信息，因此也应避免。另外，一些花具有特殊含义。比如在欧洲，菊花只用于葬礼。在有的国家，送花通常要送偶数，而另一些国家要送奇数。

将皮革制品送给印度人。很多印度人是印度教徒——他们所奉行的宗教认为牛应受到尊敬。

在有的地方，比如日本，送手帕是可行的，但在其他一些地方，手帕则可能象征悲痛或死亡。

当然，并非每个人都会对这些礼物感到不快。年轻人可能不迷信，若有人赠送刀或钟，只要意识到对方是有诚意的，他们也会很高兴地接受。但他们自己就不大可能把这种礼物送给长辈了。

那么，什么样的礼物才是恰当而考虑周到的呢？罗杰斯说：“任何一件你所在国家的东西，而在别处却难以得到，都会是不错的礼物。”比如，加拿大枫蜜或一小袋优质的夏威夷菠萝都是令人喜爱的。一旦了解了某人，送礼还应该尽量投其所好。比如说，如果你的合作伙伴爱好足球，那为什么不送他最喜欢的球队的球衣呢？但是要记住，男士送衣物给女士就可能显得过度亲密，暗示不恰当的关系了。

送礼的时间也取决于文化。西方人通常在见面的时候送礼，东方人则更多在告辞的时候送。一些特殊的节日也是馈赠的时间。在基督教国家，圣诞节时人们会互赠礼物，而穆斯林则在斋月（即圣月）结束的时候交换贺卡。 

即使一个西方商人了解了所有这些规则，如果不知道怎样恰当地呈送礼物，也仍有可能犯错。约翰·罗杰斯说：“记得我的一个年轻同事曾送给他的韩国客户一条漂亮昂贵的领带。领带装在机场免税商店的手提袋里，没有用纸或别的东西包装，韩国商人当时看起来并不怎么高兴。”所有的礼物都必须包装。在有的文化里，包装纸有特殊含义。比如，中国人觉得红色吉祥。特别是在新年，中国人喜欢把钱装在红色信封里赠送，叫“红包”，此外，带有红色图案的礼物也很常见。在中国，白色和葬礼联系在一起，所以应避免使用白色包装纸。在拉丁美洲，人们喜欢亮丽的颜色，而欧洲人则偏爱稍暗一些的色调。 

所有的礼物都必须包装。在有的文化里，包装纸有特殊含义。比如，中国人觉得红色吉祥。特别是在新年，中国人喜欢把钱装在红色信封里赠送，叫“红包”，此外，带有红色图案的礼物也很常见。在中国，白色和葬礼联系在一起，所以应避免使用白色包装纸。在拉丁美洲，人们喜欢亮丽的颜色，而欧洲人则偏爱稍暗一些的色调。

包装好的礼物也应正确呈送。送礼应用双手。在日本和其他一些国家，单手递送礼物被认为是粗鲁的行为。在阿拉伯国家，用左手递送任何物品都被认为是污辱性的。 

另一个西方人常犯的错误就是当场拆看礼物。罗杰斯记得自己在第一次访问台湾的时候就犯了这样一个错误。“那是在晚宴上，主人送给我一件小礼物。我立刻打开了它，发现是一只漂亮的手表。我非常高兴，并向其他客人展示我所得到的东西。他们都奇怪地看着我，试图转换话题。当我向主人表示感谢的时候，他看上去很不自在。”

西方人通常立刻拆看礼物，感谢赠送人，而在亚洲，通常的做法是过后私下拆看。这样，若发现礼物有任何不合时宜之处，就不会使赠送人尴尬。 

此外，在亚洲，收礼人开始时拒绝接受、送礼人再三坚持被认为是一种礼仪。“我曾遇到过客户拒绝接受我的礼物达三次或四次，”约翰·罗杰斯说。“这表示谦卑。他们不愿立刻接受我的礼物，不愿显得贪婪。”

馈赠习俗各国不同，所以要在任何情况下都不犯错是很难的。但是，如果你了解了常规，再对出访地的风俗做一点调查研究的话，就不会错得太离谱了。正如约翰·罗杰斯所说：“我记住一个国家的宗教习俗，避免赠送不恰当的或被认为奇怪的礼物，并仔细挑选包装纸。这就向人们显示出我对这份礼物所花的心思，而对于我的努力，人们总会表示感谢。”